If you've been single and in the dating world for a long time a relative term, so take it as you will , you've likely stumbled across a "serial dater" at some point. A serial dater is a unique breed. They fall somewhere in between a casual dater -a person who intentionally seeks very lighthearted romantic or sexual connections often seeing multiple partners at once -and a serial monogamist-a person who goes from one relationship into the next without spending much time alone in between them. The serial dater is one who loves the thrill of the chase and the excitement of the beginning, then jumps ship-to a first date with another person-before anything too serious can develop. And they love the power of doing so.
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They fall somewhere in between a casual dater -a person who intentionally seeks very lighthearted romantic or sexual connections often seeing multiple partners at once -and a serial monogamist-a person who goes from one relationship into the next without spending much time alone in between them.
The serial dater is one who loves the thrill of the chase and the excitement of the beginning, then jumps ship-to a first date with another person-before anything too serious can develop.
And they love the power of doing so. The thing that makes serial daters so interesting and, unfortunately for you, attractive, is that they're master manipulators. I'm not saying they're bad people-sometimes, this behavior isn't even on a conscious level!
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If you're looking for a genuine and lasting relationship, that's obviously a problem. Serial daters tend to be people who are either addicted to power dynamics having the upper han or very afraid of being rejected.
The Reality of Dating Apps and Serial Daters
It's often a mix of both. And when I say afraid of rejectionI mean very afraid, to a point that they must be the person to reject you before you could even have a chance to leave them.
Many serial daters actually enjoy breaking up with people, because their fear of rejection or thrill of the chase often comes from a place of deep insecurity. They love the validation that comes from knowing somebody wanted to be with them, whether or not the feelings were mutual. They might want sex, but it's usually the affection of another desirable person that gets them going.
Then once they have that-and they see your feelings are turning the situationship into something more serious-they bail Sounds fun, huh? I know So here are the signs to watch out for when you're seeing a new potential partner, to ensure you don't end up falling under the spell of yet another serial dater:.
Obviously, this isn't a black-and-white rule: Some completely emotionally available, relationship-oriented people enjoy hours-long dates, especially if they feel an instant connection.
Dating a serial dater
And there's nothing wrong with that! But serial daters often depend on drawn-out dates to have a chance to sweep you off your feet and grab your attention and thus their gratification from the start.
They get off knowing they "hooked" you, so in their eyes, the sooner and faster, the better. The guy who's been texting you almost every day suddenly goes MIA for a week, then comes back with some dramatic excuse "Sorry, my grandma died".
Whether their reason is legit or not, if they do this type of disappearing-act-plus-OTT-explanation thing regularly, they clearly like to use drama as a way to win your sympathy. Be honest: You're more likely to grant special exceptions to their behavior-or even feel like you're having some intense bonding experience with them-when they make you believe that only something catastrophic would keep them from talking to you.
Don't fall for it! I don't want to spoil the idea of grand romantic gestures, because those can be amazing from the right person.
But given that serial daters tend to do things on repeat, they know which buttons to push, in a good way. They're less likely to go slow and build a friendship while courting you and much more likely to orchestrate a quick and dramatic that word again!
A word to the wise: If it feels a little too much too soon for things to be genuine, it probably is. Bachelor Nation is known for pulling out all the stops. These couples are still together, though!
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Unfortunately, a lot of people use jealousy as a means of feeling better about themselves-as in, if they're able to make their partner even a little jealous, then they obviously must really care about them. Trying to make someone jealous isn't healthy-and it often backfires that's a different story -but that's what serial daters often do.
You might hear them talk about adventures with their friends of the opposite sex, or randomly bring other women's names into conversations. At the end of the day, they're typically more focused on earning your attention than on building a relationship, and they'll stop at nothing to get it. Then, as mentioned, they bail once they do.
If you ever hear comments like, "I was a player before I met you," "I've never opened up to someone like this before," or "I've never felt serious about anyone until now," let yourself feel the feels, but then consider the context. Why, though? Why do serial daters loathe being alone?
What is a serial dater? The serial dater is someone who refuses to play by the rules that we've all silently laid down as good conduct when dating. The serial dater loves the thrill of chase; they love the first couple of dates; they relish that new date feeling. Maybe it's an ego thing, maybe its a boredom thing, but securing a new date is their ultimate high. The serial dater is a very recent breed. Natural expert of the dating sites and applications such as Tinder or PlentyofFish, the speed dater will come home from a date and login into their account without a second thought. This is not because he is looking for true love, but because of deeper psychological motivations. Apr 22, Serial daters prioritize: Being a bachelor or bachelorette: They send the message that they are happy being single. Fitting with this, they have a Social approval and material riches: Serial daters often focus on earning money, showing off success, or dating someone Fun: Serial daters want to.
By falling victim to the ongoing need for admiration, you will begin believing you need that same amount of attention in order to be happy. If that's the case, you need to think again.
They don't want to deal with the heartbreak that could occur and chose to keep things light, jumping from one date to the next with no strings attached.
So, there you have it. Steer clear of the serial daters if you're searching for something serious because they're out on the prowl and ready to pounce.
Are dating a serial dater right! think
Yet, if you're feeling brave and seeking a thrill, give one a chance. By Amanda Fama.
Serial dating is one of the more recent and widely discussed dating phenomenons, especially in larger, metropolitan areas. Serial daters aka "butterflies" - generally appeared as a side effect of online dating and the seemingly infinite options we have to contact so many people who we would have never otherwise been able to talk and meet. Mar 13, The Mechanics of Serial Dating Tell any group of women a joke about noncommittal men and you'll get some snickers and cynical comments, but there's nothing funny about being mixed up with a true noncommittal partner.
They're all about the honeymoon phase. You'll post Instas of the two of you - hand-in-hand - every chance you get.
Serial daters hate being single.