Religion has long played a paramount role in the daily life and social customs of Afghanistan. Even under the mujahideen leaders, Afghanistan appeared to be on a course of Islamization: the sale of alcohol was banned, and women were pressured to cover their heads in public and adopt traditional Muslim dress. But far more stringent practices were imposed as the Taliban enforced its Islamic code in areas under its control. These measures included banning television sets and most other forms of entertainment. Men who failed to grow beards and leave them untrimmed were fined and jailed-full beardedness being perceived by extremists as the mark of a Muslim-and little mercy was shown to convicted criminals.
Afghan parents love their kids as much as any other parents. Sometime the kids see this but most time its as invisible as ghost to them. At one point or another it is triggered. The parents accept the kid's spouse regardless who and what race they are just as they accept the kid.
Parent's learn to accept their kid's decisions as they learn to accept the kids themselves. Afghans value community highly as a result they will come to value you to become part of their kid's life. So my friend that is the good news. You need to know what you are getting into. Think clearly, look at your options. If the guy is really important to you, and you really love him and care about him and value him then you won't have too much problem overcoming obstacles.
The same goes for him, if he really really likes, and is deeply in love with you, then you have nothing to lose. If its the parents rejecting you or it maybe anything else. In reality how many hours a day are you really going to be spending it with the family, how many days a week will you be with them.
Maybe once a week, max, and the longest maybe like 4 hours. There is no more concern in marrying a Afghan person with a good family, then a marrying anybody else in your own ethnicity or out of it with good parents. The advice I an give, if you do decide move forward with your relationship. Have a healthy relationship with the parents, if even that means keep your distance.
In this case, his parents might be worried about what other afghans will think more than that you're not afghan. Being afghan, I know that many parents like to gossip about people who marry non-afghans, and especially if they end up separating. You won't know what they think of you until you meet them so hopefully that's soon. As for the guy, I don't think he's embarrassed or ashamed of you, he's probably stressing a lot and worrying about what his parents think. But of course, I don't really know what it means.
The divorce may have some effect on what they initially think of you, but it shouldn't matter once they get to know you - hopefully they like your personality. I hope your relationship goes well. I can tell your serious, or you wouldn't be learning dari : And to "P": You can't just go off insulting someone for using dari in their question.
She's not trying to steal the language or anything, chances are she's excited about the little amount of dari she knows Keep it up, M :]. And fyi, "muslim" isn't a language How I wish Ahmad Z the one from Afghan is wrong.
But I experience the same. Eventho I am a Muslim a sunni just like him I have the same difficulty when I popped the question. He even come up with a crazy idea of having a kid out of wedlock because he detested the arranged marriage idea but to him having that kind of marriage is the only way.
In small towns, teens meet in the streets downtown or gather around a fountain. It is against the law to date in Iran.
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Teens are separated until they are of marrying age, then their families introduce them to each other and sometimes a courtship follows. In Japan and Korea, most high school students don't date or go to parties, but spend their time studying instead. Dating begins in college, when only boys do the asking and pay for the dates. History Government U. Cities U. ated February 21, Factmonster Staff.
These are some of the ways teens date in other countries of the world. Afghanistan Dating is rare in Afghanistan because most marriages are arranged by parents, and schools are separate for boys and girls. Australia Most teens go out in large groups and don't pair off until they are 18 or 19 years old in Australia.
Oct 12, When does an Afghan guy introduce his girl friend to his family? When ever the guy know that he will merry you and his family is gonna be ok with that. Because In Afghan Culture its not ok . Afghanistan - Afghanistan - Daily life and social customs: Religion has long played a paramount role in the daily life and social customs of Afghanistan. Even under the mujahideen leaders, Afghanistan appeared to be on a course of Islamization: the sale of alcohol was banned, and women were pressured to cover their heads in public and adopt traditional Muslim dress. Free Afghan Dating Community. Meet Afghan Singles from around the world seeking Friendship, Love, Romance & More.
Classes and Castes. Some groups are egalitarian, but others have a hierarchical social organization. There are great differences in wealth and social status. Society also is stratified along religious and ethnic lines. During most of the twentieth century, members of the king's family played a major role in politics as ministers and ambassadors.
Most civil servants and technocrats were Persian-speaking urban A group of children read in a mosque school in Arghandab, Afghanistan. Although education is valued in Afghanistan, only 5 percent of Afghani children receive a primary education.
Ismaelis and Shiites especially the Hazaras had the lowest status.
Afghanistan. Dating is rare in Afghanistan because most marriages are arranged by parents, and schools are separate for boys and girls. The opportunities to meet are rare. Girls have a P.M. curfew, while boys have an P.M. curfew. Australia. Most teens go out in large groups and don't pair off until they are 18 or 19 years old in Australia.
In the provinces, most administrative posts were held by Pashtuns who had no connection to the population. Local communities were dominated by the richest landlords, assisted by village headmen. The Sayyeds, supposed to be the descendants of the Prophet Muhammad through his daughter Fatima, played an important role as mediators, relying on prestige rather than personal wealth.
Family elders were consulted on local matters, and many disputes were settled by local assemblies. Although Communist land reform was rejected by the population, important changes have occurred.
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Traditional leaders have lost their preeminence to military commanders and young religious militants. Some smugglers have become immensely rich. Symbols of Social Stratification. Social stratification is expressed primarily through marriage patterns. The general tendency is for lower social groups to give their daughters in marriage to higher social groups. The lavishness of a wedding is an indicator of status and wealth.
Following Taliban decree, men must wear a hat or turban and be bearded. Western dress and fashion, which once distinguished urban from rural people, have almost disappeared. The Taliban control most of the country.
The Taliban rule without a constitution, relying on the Koran. There is an informal assembly around their leader in Kandahar. Ministries exist in Kabul, and lower-level civil servants have often remained in place, but there is no real administration. At the local level, the military commanders rule groups of villages, a situation the Taliban have tried to end.
Leadership and Political Officials. Afghanistan does not have a unified government. Political parties linked to the resistance, including Sunni and Shiite, and Islamic fundamentalist, have developed during the war, but now they have imperfectly merged in the two remaining factions-the Taliban and the Northern Alliance.
Military commanders have the real leadership. Social Problems and Control. In their drive to "purify" society, the Taliban emphasize moral values.
No distinction is made between religious and civil laws, and the religious police are omnipotent. Judges apply a tribal-based conception of Islam. Those who commit adultery and consume drugs and alcohol are severely punished.
Beatings, amputations, and public executions beheading, stoning, and shooting are commonly practiced. Tens of thousands of persons are jailed without trial by the various factions. Military Activity. Military activity is intense, particularly in the spring and summer.
United Nations agencies and the Red Cross are active, but fighting often interrupts their projects. Hundreds of local and foreign nongovernmental organizations have programs for land mine removal, education, health care, road building, irrigation, and agriculture. Their role is often ambiguous, and they have contributed to social stratification because their actions often are limited to major urban centers and areas near the Pakistani border. By providing nearly all welfare programs, they have made it easier for political leaders to ignore social issues.
Division of Labor by Gender. Male and female roles are strongly differentiated.
The public sphere is the domain of men, and the domestic one is the realm of women. Women take care of young children, cook for the household, and clean the house. They may have a small garden and a few chickens. They weave and sew and in some areas make rugs and felt. Among nomads, women make tents and have more freedom of movement.
In a peasant family, men look after the sheep and goats, and plow, harvest, thresh, and winnow the crops. Among both rural and urban people, a man must not stay at home during the day. During war, women take over many male duties; men who work abroad must learn to cook, sew, and do laundry. The Relative Status of Women and Men. Between an King Amanullah tried to promote female empowerment. Under the Communist government, many women were able to study in universities.
This trend was reversed by the Taliban. Women now must be completely covered by a long veil and accompanied by a male relative when they leave the house. Women face overwhelming obstacles if they seek to work or study or obtain access to basic health care.
However, the Taliban have improved security in many rural areas, allowing women to carry out their everyday duties. Women have never participated publicly in decision making processes. They are admonished to be modest and obey the orders of their fathers, brothers, and husbands. Nevertheless, as guardians of family honor, women have more power. Nomadic and peasant women play an important role in the domestic economy and are not secluded in the same way as many urban women.
Shiite leaders stress the right of a woman to participate in the political process, engage in independent economic activity, and freely choose a husband. Marriage is considered an obligation, and divorce is rare and stigmatized.
Polygamy is allowed if all the wives are treated equally. However, it is uncommon and occurs primarily when a man feels obligated to marry the widow of his dead brother. The general pattern is to marry kin, although families try to diversify their social assets through marriage. The incidence of unions between cousins is high. The first contacts often are made discreetly by women in order to avoid a public refusal.
Then the two families negotiate the financial cts of the union and decide on the trousseau, the brideprice, and the dowry. The next step is the official engagement, during which female relatives of the groom bring gifts to the home of the bride and sweets are consumed.
The wedding is a three-day party paid for by the groom's family during which the marriage contract is signed and the couple is brought together. The bride is then brought to her new home in a lavish procession. Domestic Unit. Traditionally, the basic household consists of a man, his wife, his sons with their spouses and children, and his unmarried daughters. When he dies, the sons can decide to stay united or divide the family assets.
Authority among brothers is based on ability, economic skill, and personal prestige more than age.
Sometimes a brother asks for his share of the family wealth and leaves the domestic group while the father is still alive. Residential unity does not imply shared domestic expenses. Men gather water from a mosque well.
The roles of Afghani men and women differ strongly, both in terms of daily tasks and personal empowerment. Domestic units are larger among tribal people than among urban dwellers. In theory all brothers are equal, but to avoid splitting up family property, brothers may decide to own it jointly or to be compensated financially. Contrary to Islamic law, women do not inherit land, real estate, or livestock. Kin Groups. All groups trace descent through the male line. Each tribal group claims a common male ancestor and is divided into subtribes, clans, lineages, and families.
Genealogy establishes inheritance, mutual obligations, and a feeling of solidarity. Disputes over women, land, and money may result in blood feuds.
The tribal system is particularly developed among the Pashtuns. The main values of their tribal code are hospitality and revenge. Many inhabitants of Afghanistan do not belong to a tribe or have only a loose affiliation. Neighborhood and other social links, often reinforced by marriage, can be stronger than extended kinship.
Infant Care. Babies are bound tightly in wooden cradles with a drain for urine or carried by the mother in a shawl. They may be breast-fed for more than two years, but weaning is very sudden. Children are cared for by a large group of female relatives.
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Although surrounded by affection, children learn early that no one will intervene when they cry or are hurt. Adults do not interfere with children's games, which can be tough. Physical punishment is administered, although parents tend to be indulgent with young children. Children move freely from the female part of the house to the public one and learn to live in a group setting. Child Rearing and Education.
Respect and obedience to elderly persons are important values, but independence, individual initiative, and self-confidence also are praised. The most important rite of passage for a boy is circumcision, usually at age seven.
Boys learn early the duties of hospitality and caring for guests as well as looking after the livestock or a shop, while girls begin helping their mothers as soon as they can stand. Both are taught the values of honor and shame and must learn when to show pride and when to remain modest. Higher Education. Literacy is extremely low, and in88 percent of the adult population had no formal schooling. Only 5 percent of children get a primary education, with a huge discrepancy between males and females.
People from Afghanistan must travel abroad to further their education. Although education is valued, there is no professional future for educated people other than working for an international agency or a nongovernmental organization. Young people address elders not by name but by a title. A husband will not call his wife by her name but will call her "mother of my son. Kinship terms often are used to express friendship or respect. Hospitality is a strong cultural value.
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When food is served, the host waits until the guests have started eating. As soon as the dishes are cleared, guests ask permission to leave unless they are spending the night. When meeting, two men shake hands and then place the right hand on the heart.
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Direct physical contact is avoided between men and women. If they have not seen each other for a long time, friends and relatives hug, kiss, and speak polite phrases. When someone enters a room, people stand and greet him at length. When they sit down, more greetings are exchanged. It is considered rude to ask a factual question or inquire about anything specific early in the conversation.
To express affection, it is customary to complain, sometimes bitterly, about not having received any news. Religious Beliefs. Despite their different affiliations, Sunnis and Shiites recognize the authority of the Koran and respect the five pillars of Islam.
Nevertheless, relationships between members of different religious sects are distant and tense. Sufism is an important expression of religiosity. It represents the mystical trend of Islam and stresses emotion and personal commitment over a codified conception of faith. It is viewed with suspicion by some Islamic scholars. An extreme form of Sufism is represented by wandering beggars.
Supernatural creatures such as angels, genies, ghosts, and spirits, are believed to exist. Exorcism and magic protect people from the evil eye. Although condemned by orthodox religious authorities, these practices may be reinforced by the village mullah. Religious Practitioners. There are two kinds of religious practitioners: scholars, whose power is based on knowledge, and saints, whose authority comes from their ability to transmit God's blessing.
Among Sunnis, there is no formal clergy, while Shiites have a religious hierarchy. Village mullahs receive a religious education that allows them to teach children and lead the Friday prayers.
Many saints and Sufi leaders claim descent from the Prophet. Their followers visit them to ask for advice and blessing. During the war, a new kind of religious leader emerged: the young Islamic militant who challenges the authority of traditional practitioners and proposes a more political conception of religion.
Rituals and Holy Places. Throughout the year, people gather at noon on Fridays in the mosque. Most villages have a place to pray, which also is used to accommodate travelers. The tombs of famous religious guides often become shrines visited by local people. They play an important role in the social life of village community and the local identity.
Pilgrimages allow women to get out of the home in groups to chat and socialize. There are two main religious festivals. Both the Sunnis and the Shiites recognize the authority of the Koran and respect the five pillars of Islam.
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Most families slay a sheep and distribute some of the meat to the poor. The Id al-Fitr or Id-e Ramazan the Small Feast or Feast of the Ramazan marks the end of the fasting month and is a period of cheer during which relatives and friends visit each other. The fasting month of Ramadan is an important religious and social event. During Muharram the first month of the Islamic lunar calendarShiites commemorate the death of the grandson of Muhammad. It is a period of mourning and sorrow.
People gather to listen to an account of the martyrdom, weeping and hitting their breasts.
The anniversary of the death of Husain is the climax. Processions are organized, and some young men wound themselves with chains or sharp knives. Other important social ceremonies with a religious dimension include births, weddings, funerals, circumcisions of young boys, and charity meals offered by wealthy people.
Death and the Afterlife. The dead are buried rapidly in a shroud.
In the countryside, most graves are simple heaps of stones without a name. Wealthier persons may erect a tombstone with a written prayer. For three days, the close relatives of the deceased open their house to receive condolences. Forty days after the death, relatives and close friends meet again, visit the grave, and pray. After one year, a ceremony takes place to mark the end of the mourning period.
Many people believe that if a funeral is not carried out properly, the ghost of the dead will return to torment the living. Since modern medical facilities are limited, people rely on traditional practices that employ herbs and animal products. Every physical ailment is classified as warm or cold, and its cure depends on restoring the body's equilibrium by ingesting foods with the opposite properties.
Another way to cure disease is to undertake a pilgrimage to a shrine. Sometimes, pilgrims put a pinch of sand collected from the holy place into their tea or keep a scrap from the banners on a tomb. Certain springs are considered holy, and their water is believed to have a curative effect. Talismans Koranic verse in a cloth folder are sewed onto clothing or hats to protect against the evil eye or treat an illness. The Jashn, the National Independence Holidays celebrating complete independence from the British in used to be an occasion for the government to promote reforms.
Parades and sporting events were organized.
Until , Afghanistan avoided fragmentation through a shared religion and the relative autonomy of local communities even though the government favored Pashtun culture and folklore. Most inhabitants felt they belonged primarily to a local community and secondarily to the supranational Islamic community. generally in Afghan culture, dating is not allowed women cannot be touched in public, by husband or otherwise actually illegal to marry before the age of 16, . Afghan marriage traditions allow girls of ten years of age or younger to get engaged, but not married The groom's parents pay for the whole wedding. This is an Afghan tradition and a major part of their culture Afghan women are not permitted to marry non Muslim men.
The New Year on 21 March dates back to the pre-Islamic period. In the old Persian calendar, it was a fertility festival celebrating the spring. It is still a time for celebration when relatives and friends visit each other and bring gifts for the children. The Taliban have banned artistic expression.
High culture is kept alive in Pakistan and in the West, refugees have set up cultural circles that organize concerts, exhibitions paintings, photographspoetry contests, and courses in calligraphy, painting, music, and poetry.
Some also have modest libraries and film archives and promote theater. All scholars have left the country, and no higher education or scientific research is available.