Warning: This story contains spoilers for the first season of "Love Is Blind. Forget "The Bachelor": This month, reality TV fans are buzzing about the new Netflix dating show "Love Is Blind," where singles first started dating by speaking to each other in "pods" where they couldn't see each other's faces. Sounds weird, but it worked. Several couples fell in love, got engaged - and a few even got married. One of the more talked about couples were Jessica Batten, 34, and Mark Cuevas,
They are not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers. Older women can be more playful. They are more relaxed. It's really a personality thing for me regarding what is attractive. I enjoy a confident attitude and older women definitely have the upper hand in that area.
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She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous.
They frequently act foolish and immature. I don't have time for that behavior-that's why I like mature women. It's like a rush.
Some young men saw themselves reflected back in an older woman and realized the woman's own specialness:. She offered me the opportunity to see another perspective on a lot of different issues. I mean, older women think differently on certain issues and they've got more experience.
I grew up a lot with her. Yeah, definitely, she helped me to grow up.
She made me realize how important I could be in making someone else happy. Not that I was doing it for her, but just being with her. Fred, age 28, told us what qualities attracted him to older women: "The experiences in life that they've had make them more grounded and realistic.
When asked what a mature woman offered him that he couldn't find in a younger woman, Fred answered: "Emotional stability.
Mar 03, "My first relationship with an older woman - I was 20 and she was 36 - lasted two and a half years. My second - I was 28 and she was 41 - lasted three years and we lived together for one year. The man in the teknoderas.com piece who experimented with the "young woman trial period" explained that dating a woman only 5 years older than himself was insufficient to create the "emotional. Nov 24, Older Woman/Younger Man Relationships. Almost one-third of women between ages 40 and 69 are dating younger men (defined as 10 or more years younger).Author: Jean Lawrence.
Need I say more? There have been nothing but positives in my relationships with two older women. They were able to see things in me that I could not see in myself. Also, there were levels of honesty unlike anything I've experienced even with best friends. Fred gave us a wealth of information over several interviews.
Open, upbeat and extremely handsome, he revealed the enormous love and respect he shared with his former partner and now shares with his current partner.
Fred's first older-woman experience occurred when he was 21 years old and Gretchen was They lived together for two years. They are both still very close and see each other regularly.
Not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationship, but an extraordinary sex life as well. Recently, this woman underwent major surgery and it was her ex-boyfriend Fred, not the woman's current older boyfriend, who was by her side. Gretchen, now 44, was involved with a man of 51 and he was simply too busy with work and personal commitments to be available when she really needed him.
It was Fred who visited her on a regular basis and saw to it that she had what she needed during her recuperation. After his relationship with Gretchen ended, Fred tried dating girls in their early 20s. He explained, often quite humorously, how ridiculous he felt trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club. His brief experimentation with younger females only reaped endless head games, confusion and immature behavior.
Resolutely, Fred abandoned the "young woman trial period. He decided this time to accept it.
His next relationship was with Marla, a co-worker. They were great friends and then she began to pursue him.
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Why not? She was older. Maybe it would work. But Marla's flaw seemed to be that she was only five years older - and for Fred, that still wasn't enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched. After a year or so of taking a "time-out," Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred's respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke:. It equates to stability. They've already figured out who they are. Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women.
They are all-around much more attractive to me.
You know this is the kind of person who's going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger. Older women are much more well rounded - they know what they feel and why they feel it. It has a snowball effect all the way around. It's adventurous for both of us, because it's a whole new exciting journey.
Younger women just don't allow me to grow in the ways older women do. I considered it a hell of a jump start on life.
Certainly, there are challenges for the men as well as the women in these relationships. For example, the issue of having or not having children came up repeatedly:. My second - I was 28 and she was 41 - lasted three years and we lived together for one year. The main thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older woman.
There is a frenetic energy with a younger woman that can be very exciting and very cute, but not for my personality.
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Neither of my relationships was about being mothered. Both women were professionals, very focused on their work lives and extremely confident and sure of themselves. That was very attractive to me. Ultimately, Lenny's last relationship ended when he wanted children and his partner of 43 did not. Of course, the issue of "Will I want children later on? In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women.
Pregnancy at ages once reserved for "miracles" is now a medical possibility. Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although not as severe, to what the older women experienced.
The men my age and older were jealous that I was with her. They would look at me as if I had something they wanted and didn't have and, because I was younger, they reacted more strongly.
And women my age disapproved of the relationship. I guess some of these people thought I was trying to prove something - I wasn't.
I would personally love to date an older woman. The way someone's life is when they're 40 tells much more about them than the way their life is when they're 25 or If a year-old woman is still beautiful, healthy, has a stable job, and so on, you can bet that she's made of "the right stuff" - much more than it would with a 25 year old. Older Woman/Younger Man Relationships. If he's married to a 60 year-old woman, he's married to someone who, on average, is physiologically ten years younger and thus likely healthier and more vigorous, physically and mentally.
Our relationship just made me feel great. She was great! I was proud of who she was and what we had together. Overall, however, it seems that such criticism is not as big an obstacle for men in these relationships as for women. In fact, some men received support and admiration from peers and co-workers. They respected what I had with her, which was an emotional connection with an experienced, centered person.
Most people's reactions have been good.
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There have been no negative attitudes or comments given to me that stick out in my head. Actually, many people have asked my partner and me for advice. The men to whom we talked spoke about the advantages of being in relationships with older women in terms of the serenity and comfort, the growth opportunity and the honesty they were afforded.
Here, two experts weigh in on the benefits of dating an older man, as well as the potential drawbacks.
While an older man dating a younger woman tends to raise less eyebrows than a woman's romance with a younger manthe dynamic isn't exactly stigma-free-particularly when the age gap is significant. Three years later, search husbandnotdad on Instagram and you'll find a collection of smiling couples; on Twitterthe same hashtag's happy photos are interspersed with searingly critical comments, which arguably confirms Thornton's point. When women over 40 find themselves drawn to someone who's older, they are less of a target for those who cry 'daddy issues.
A range of generation gap-related issues more on those below can be easier to bridge when you're over 40 as well. Stability, a strong sense of self, and advancement in his career are things older men can potentially bring to the table more often than a man in his 20s or 30s can, says Sherman.
That said, extra years of life experience do often lead to greater maturity in relationships, and more life wisdom. A woman in her 40s or older has plenty of hard-won lessons and accomplishments of her own to tout, of course. She just might love getting involved with a person who's on equally-solid ground and has been there for awhile.
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Maybe you're dating after a divorceand you're a single mom who needs to carve out the time for a love life. A man who's already been married and raised kids has no carpool schedules to contend with, which can mean he's got more time to plan amazing dates.
According to Lester, if you're seeing someone who is ten or more years older than you, "he's likely to have children who are less dependent on him, and have more free time-which can be particularly helpful if your kids are still more dependent. If his working days are behind him and you're still focused on a job and all the ambitions, woes, and time demands that come with it, you may struggle to connect at the end of the day. You two may not be picking out wedding rings at this point, but if things start getting serious, it's worth discussing what you both think your next ten-to-twenty years will look like.
Do you have any further family ambitions? Are you open to traveling, or moving somewhere else? So he doesn't know who Cardi B isand you don't have the same points of nostalgia-that might not bug you at all, and that's just great.
Is It A Bad Idea To Date A Younger Man?
But what if you start talking politics and trends, only to discover he's completely immovable in his views?