These are sure to make you chuckle as well as reset your batteries so you can get back out there with some optimism. OkCupid is a great dating site, but when you think about it, do you really want to have just an OK online dating experience? Photo source: MemeCrunch. So I signed up. Changed my life. I went from feeling good about myself to feeling like a leper alone in a room typing.
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Four years later, synonyms and share your area. Then the plane landed. Dave Attell. Kris McGaha. If your date likes it, do not date that person again. And if you like it, there may not be a second date.
Roger Ebert. I hate first dates. Alex Reed. Jennifer Lopez. As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.
Garrison Keillor. You might like Cute Terms of Endearment.
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Jonathan Lockwood Huie. I want a man who is kind and understanding.
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Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? Zsa Zsa Gabor. Rodney Dangerfield. I was dating a guy for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease. Gracie Hart. Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people. Doug Coupland. Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Rita Rudner. Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. Scott Adams. I like to date schoolteachers.
Funny Dating Quotes to get you in the mood for a hot dude. Or dudess. These will put you in the right frame for the night game. Laughter is the best aphrodisiac. Links to lots more dating humor at the bottom. Share your own jokes and feedback in the Comment box. Dating Quotes Group 1. Funny Dating Quotes Worthy of a Chuckle. No matter how your dates turn out, reading funny dating quotes can always keep you grounded and feel light-hearted. Remember, there's always the next time if it didn't work out. Someone once said that it is impossible to love and be wise at the same time. You don't always have to be wise to get the best in life. Oct 16, Funny love poems are one of the best means of exploring the lighter side of love. In fact, we realised that the most successful soul-mates have one thing in common - they joke around a lot and stay cheerful in their relationship. That is what we all seek.
If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. Women marry men hoping they will change.
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Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
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Albert Einstein. Honesty is the key to a relationship.
Richard Jeni. The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one.
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The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders. Linda Festa. Relationships are hard. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp. Bob Ettinger.
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
Chelsea Handler. Helen Rowland. Fran Lebowitz. The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.
Agatha Christie. Mae West. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. Steven Wright. My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
Emo Philips. My boyfriend and I broke up. My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I came back drunk.
Not every problem someone has with his girlfriend is necessarily due to the capitalist mode of production. Herbert Marcuse.
About 30 pounds. Cindy Gardner. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV. Tracy Smith. My girlfriend and I never let each other forget how much we love each other.