But are poor financials a big enough reason to eliminate someone as a potential mate? According to a new survey by Match. At all. Here are a few more results:. Related: Could you ever marry for money?
Though this might not be the tagline on most online dating profiles, money matters are a very big deal in relationships. Unfortunately, financial conversations are not the easiest - or sexiest- talks to have with partnerswhich leads too many of us to postpone or avoid the topic altogether.
So how can we approach this often touchy topic?
We checked in with experts who broke down for us why finances - and specifically debt - should factor into your dating decisions before you get too serious with Mr. Because while partnerships mean love, matching slippers and Netflix-and-chill nights, they also mean - in some way or other - combining finances. Even if you keep separate bank accounts, your finances impact your partner and vice versa.
As Lannan explains, debt is a part of life for almost all of us, and many people will choose to take on debt in order to help reach their life goals. Generally speaking, she says student loans, mortgages and small-business loans can be good forms of debt - as long as they are managed smartly.
What to do if you're dating someone with debt Get to the bottom of it. Melissa Browne, author of Unf*ck your Finances, says the first step is to find out how the Have the hard conversation for a happier future. Ms Khuman says finance is a common issue couples disagree on, which Protect. Nov 26, Your partner might not expect for you to help out with their debt, but it is essential that you talk about the subject in a transparent way. And then, if you do decide to help out, it comes from a heart of goodwill, rather than resentment. "When a husband and wife can eliminate debt, a shift happens in their marriage. If you're dating these days, you're very likely to meet some folks who are dealing with serious debt. One in five Americans say they have more credit card debt than emergency savings, according to a recent survey from personal finance company Bankrate. And then there's lingering student loans.
These include credit cards and car loans for a luxury ride if a simple sedan would do the job. According to psychologist Yvonne Thomas, Ph.
The trick is to inquire without interrogating, which can sometimes feel like a fine line. Is that kind of thing a part of your life? Thomas says it could also indicate if our date has reasonable debt - like student loans - or frivolous spending habits that make their credit card bills unmanageable.
Think of it this way: Any debt that was accrued before the marriage belongs to the individual. Why was this a red flag?
It made me question if he would be able to fit into the life I was working so hard on or if he was going to bring me down financially. A recent Finder.
The way most of us grow up imagining love - the process of falling into it and then the state of existing within it - leaves us with the idea of love as something that is mostly devoid of logic.
Love conceptually exists for most people like a bit of a reprieve for the other big parts of adult life, all of which seem drearily governed by logic.
Rochelle, 32, found herself suddenly considering the weight of all of these issues when her girlfriend of two years revealed she had been hiding debt for the duration of their relationship.
It was shocking for sure.
It goes so hard to think about spending my life with someone who responded to hard things that way. While her relationship with John was much less mature, Melissa essentially bowed out for the same reason: How the other person was dealing with their debt illuminated undesirable traits about them.
Should You Date Someone With Debt?
And it makes sense. If you marry someone whose debt keeps their credit score prohibitively low, you can quite literally find yourself being one person trying to carry the financial weight for two.
And if the data is any indication, most people are now navigating dating with exactly this reality in mind, with increasing scrutiny with each passing generation: According to the Finder.
On the other hand, if the prospect of merging lives and finances with someone whose debt would present a considerable hindrance to your ability to reach your goals for years or even decades to come Well, a lot of people consider that too daunting to get into, and an increasingly high number of them are making no apologies for walking away.
That said, not all debt is not inherently toxic.
A Fidelity Investments Couples and Money study found that 40of people bringing debt into a relationship report it having a negative impact. It's not hard to see why marrying someone with student loan debt puts you at higher risk for marital difficulties. But debt isn't the only money-related struggle you might have with your teknoderas.com: Amy Blacklock. Oct 07, If you have a lot of debt, you may find it difficult to speak candidly and openly about your situation. Even so, you have to be honest. Thomas suggests having the conversation in the early stages of dating to avoid misleading your match. Apr 15, A recent teknoderas.com study laid out just how seriously most people factor in money matters when it comes to deciding whether or not someone is a viable romantic prospect, citing that 72of people surveyed said they would have serious doubts about dating someone with significant debt.
Some kinds of debt are, in fact, part of most objectively healthy financial plans. Student debt as a result of pursuing advanced degrees, for example, might put someone in the red for a few years but also dramatically increase their earning potential.
It comes down to what kind of debt someone has and how proactively they approach managing it. Sure, every couple has to endure their share of stress and even arguing about money, no matter how clean their slates are in the beginning, which is even more reason why so many people are wary of going all in with someone who is too deep in the red. Although, to be fair, having all of those other things makes dealing with debt a hell of a lot easier to deal with.
Apr 09, For example, in my 20s and 30s, I could have easily dated someone in debt - at that age I was still paying off student loans, digging out of some youthful credit card issues, etc. Now that I'm in my mids, I would seriously think twice about dating someone with a lot of debt, and especially someone with a negative net worth. Aug 08, If someone has a lot of credit card debt and he or she is still piling on more with no intention of living within his or her means, that's a red flag of financial irresponsibility. There's no. May 14, 5 smart ways to discuss student debt when dating 1. Be honest about your student loans. Failing to do so could be akin to cheating, McLay said. If you wait for the 2. Bring up student debt early but naturally. One option is to be open and upfront about your debt .