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Posted by: Fenrirg Posted on: 05.06.2020

Lots of things about being in a real, serious relationship scare me. But the thing that probably terrifies me most? The fighting. Arguing seems to be a normal part of adult relationships. The problem here is that I don't like to fight.

Studies Prove Couples Who Fight a Lot Really Love Each Other

Loyalty is a great quality, but it can be detrimental when it's your sole reasoning for staying in a relationship that makes you feel drained. On the flip side, sometimes we find ourselves in relationships with people who are our complete opposites.

"And a thriving relationship is a relationship where it's safe enough to fight without destroying the whole thing." Advertisement Fighting In Relationships - Conflict During DatingAuthor: Jessica Chou.

But, OK, if we needed just one rule of thumb here, what sort of relationship is worth it? She says:. Emmalee's all-time best piece of advice for people in relationships?

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By Candice Jalili. Is it ever worth staying in a relationship when you're constantly fighting? You think that when you get engaged, your partner will chill out and stop drinking so much. You will most likely be sadly disappointed. She explains: "Having a healthy relationship does not mean zero conflict, it means having better communication skills to work through that conflict.

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Emmalee puts it simply: "It's less about the quantity and more about the quality of the fight. But how can you tell the difference?

Fighting during dating

She explains: "Self-love has to come first and if you are unhappy in your job, friendships and environment, most likely that will filter into your relationship. Whether it's a disagreement about culture, family, time management, or affection, when you're feeling connected to your partner and positive about the relationship, you tend to minimize the importance of these potential differences.

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It's not until later on in the relationship that you'll see a rise in conflict and really notice those differences coming up. The more difficult the conversation, though, the more important it is to have. These conversations require vulnerability and ask us to bravely share our hurt, fears, and insecurities with another," says Pharaon.

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It's OK to have conflict, but you want to discuss with your partner, rather than argue. In order to share your side more effectively, she suggests thinking about the message you're trying to communicate before you speak.

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If your partner is responsive and makes you feel validated, that's a good sign your relationship will last. She notes an important quote from Shonda Rhimes' Year of Yes : "The more difficult the conversation, the greater the freedom.

Additionally, the sooner you can talk to your partner about a problem, the better.

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It can feel easier to avoid talking about conflict, especially when you're worried about starting a fight, but Shirey says that avoidant behavior might actually be indicative of an unhealthy dynamic. Both Shirey and Pharaon mention John Gottman's studies about relationship success or failure. Often both partners have the same worries, but the longer you're together the more secure you'll feel.

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An ex you're still friends with, an ex you don't seem over, an ex that randomly pops up again - it just happens. There's almost always an ex.

Mar 16,   Fighting Early In A Relationship Isn't That Weird, But Do These 4 Things Before The 3-Month Mark Establish Boundaries & Expectations. In the first few months of dating, it's important to clarify your boundaries and Have The Difficult Conversations. Meredith Shirey, a couples therapist and the Author: Jamie Kravitz. Feb 13,   You have the same fight repeatedly Whether it's dishes in the sink or late nights out with friends, couples often have a recurring source of conflict in which they'll "seem to have the same fight. May 11,   Sometimes, people fight because they're bored. You've got nothing better to do, so you pick on the people closest to you - namely, the person you're in .

It shouldn't be the end of the world, but sometimes in can feel that way. I'm really lucky that my girlfriend and I get along with each other's friends, but I've definitely been in relationships where that wasn't the case. If one of you doesn't like the other one's friends, it can be a disaster.

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You have to be respectful of those friendships, even if you don't always understand them, and remember they've been along long before you. You don't have to be best friends with them, but be supportive of your partner's friends.

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It may be in the beginning when you're deciding whether you're exclusive or an official couple or it may be later on when you're looking at if you should be going on vacation together, to weddings, or just looking at the future.

At some point there's a bit of a "So A year is still early on, but it's when these things start to come up especially if you're not on the same page.

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It's definitely one of those times to keep your tempers down and be compassionate. You're together for a reason, just try to remember that.

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Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Waywhich delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.

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