March 21, References Approved. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in There are 24 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has 29 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewe times. Maybe you're a teenager with your first boyfriend, or maybe you're already a little older but have always struggled whenever you have to share news of a relationship with your strict folks.
How to tell your parents your dating someone older
Set up a time when you can hang out with your group of regular friends, and include your potential boyfriend. When you are ready to speak to your parents about possibly dating this guy, they will know who he is instead of him just being a stranger. If your potential boyfriend is not already friends with your group, have an initial hangout session where he gets to meet your friends.
Then take the next step and include him with your friends around your parents. Explain your feelings. Open up to your parents about what you feel for this guy during your initial conversation with them. Describe his best qualities and make sure to include any thoughtful things he has done for you.
Let your parents know why you feel this relationship should move from platonic to romantic. DO NOT say that you "can't live" without him.
Having such an extreme reaction will just show your parents that you are still immature. Maintain a trusting relationship. Trust should not just be between you and your parents.
Communicate with your potential boyfriend about your overprotective parents and how this possibly could be problematic. The less your potential boyfriend negatively interferes in your relationship with your parents, the more likely your parents will be convinced to let you have a relationship with him. If your parents find out that you were dating this guy in secret before getting their permission, they may demand an end to the relationship.
Part 3 of Choose who to include in your talk. Choose whether to speak with your dad or your mom. You can speak with them separately or at the same time.
You may be afraid they will try to get their two cents into the conversation. If you are closer to one parent more than the other, focus on having this conversation with them. They will either inform your other parent on their own, or their opinion could be the only one that matters to you. Decide when to talk.
Remember that your parents are probably thinking about a thousand things at once and if either of them work, they won't have that much time on their hands. Based off what you know about their schedule, pick a timeframe that you know they will be able to give you their undivided attention. Wait a few hours after they get home from work so they can calm down and de-stress from their day.
Talk with your parents on the weekend during breakfast. They are more likely to be relaxed during this time and may be more willing to discuss, rather than dictate.
Don't bring up the conversation too casually when they are in the middle of doing something, like getting ready for work or taking care of your sibling. Pick an environment. Where you talk should be dependent on where you feel comfortable and where you know your parents will be the most level headed.
If your house is usually loud and busy, maybe go for a walk with your parents to talk about this sensitive topic. Or bring it up the next time you are in a long car ride with either of them.
If you decide to go for a walk, pick a route you know does not have that many people. If there are strangers around, you may feel anxious they are overhearing your conversation.
Did how to tell your parents your dating someone older have forgotten
Be direct. Speak as clearly as you can about how you want to date a guy older than you. Figure out who to tell first. You might have a parent you feel closer to or maybe one of your parents tends to be more lenient than the other.
Oftentimes, breaking the news to a parent who is easier to talk to can clear the way for talking to the other parent. On the other hand, if your dad tends to be overprotective, you might start with your mother instead. This approach can be an especially helpful idea if you are a teenager with your first boyfriend. On the other hand, if you think both of your parents will take it equally well or badlyjust rip off the bandaid and tell them both at the same time.
Pick a good time. You don't want to tell your parents when they are busy with something else or when they aren't in a good mood.
If you want, you can ask them when a good time to talk would be. Try to choose a time when the house is calm, and your parents are not stressed or distracted by something else. You will need to tell them eventually, so you might as well get it over with.
Identify what you're feeling. You are hesitating about telling your parents for a reason. Do you think that your parents will be mad because you're dating? Maybe you think they won't approve of the person you're dating. On the other hand, maybe you just prefer to keep your personal life private.
Knowing what you're feeling is important because you can use that in the discussion. I've been a little hesitant to tell you that I have a boyfriend because I think you think that I'm not old enough.
Don't mean to sound sexist, but I think it would be easier for your parents to accept if it was a lady dating a much older guy than a man dating a much older woman. However, like someone already said, so long as you're over 18 telling them would only be done . Sep 24, Next thing you know, he's your closest friend as well as your boyfriend - which creates a co-dependent dynamic that's bad for any relationship. 8. Whether or not you tell your parents . How to Tell Your Parents You ' re Dating an Older Guy. Invite Him Over to Study. Before hitting them with all the tea, invite him over for a study session and have him stay for dinner. Tell your boy to Let Your Families Meet. Talk to Them Honestly. Show Them You ' re Mature Enough. Be Willing to.
Get it over with. Once you sit down, you just need to get the conversation over with. Don't beat around the bush. However, you can soften the blow with qualifiers. For instance, you could say, "I really love you two, and I don't want to make you mad. Also, I really want to be honest with you about my life.
I want to tell you about the boy that I've started dating. Talk about why you feel you are ready to date. If you are trying to make a case for dating, lay out the reasons why you think you should be able to. For instance, maybe you think that you should be able to date because you are in high school, and most people your age are allowed to date. Be reasonable, and don't get angry if your parents don't agree. Your parents probably won't respond well to "But everyone else is doing it! Be willing to negotiate.
If you're parents don't want you to date and you're asking them to let you, you need to be willing to compromise. Maybe you can suggest that you only see your boyfriend at school or that you only go on group dates with other people. Your parents just want to protect you, so you have to be willing to give up some of your freedom.
Although they may be frustrating sometimes, remember that your parents are older and have more experience than you do. They may spot red flags or issues of concern that you haven't experienced yet. If they express concerns, watch out for signs that they could be true.
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Discuss the person. Tell your parents about your boyfriend. Talk to them about his family and what you like about him. Highlight his good qualities so they get a sense of who he is.
It's also helpful to have a photo for them to see. It is advisable to answer every question as honestly and fully as possible to reassure them about your new relationship. If you try to hide or lie about something, your parents may become suspicious and anxious.
Consider, that how to tell your parents your dating someone older can
If your boyfriend has a good relationship with his family, make sure your parents know. This trait is a major plus for many parents because it lets them know that this new guy in your life knows how to value others and can appreciate the tight ties of family. Don't try to hide it. One of the most important things to do if you want your parents to accept your boyfriend is to be the one to tell them about your relationship. If they find out about your relationship from someone else, they may assume that you were trying to hide it because you felt you were doing something wrong.
As a general rule, the sooner you own up to the relationship, the better. Avoiding the conversation will only make it harder to have eventually and will increase the odds that your parents may find out from another source. Once you get older and have already moved out of the house, you do not necessarily need to bring up every date or every boyfriend you have.
Tips for Telling Your Dad You're Dating an Older Guy - Age Gap Realness Episode 7
Wait until a guy comes along that you can exclusively and seriously commit to before getting everyone worked up. Method 2 of Wait on the negatives. If you know something about your boyfriend is going to bother your parents, don't start out the conversation with that. Instead, wait until the middle or end of the conversation to talk about it.
For instance, if your boyfriend is older than you, you might want to hold off on that bit of news until near the end of the conversation. Understand your parents may be upset. If you're going against your parents expectations of you, they are probably going to be upset. You're just going to have to deal with their anger and even tears, until you can get them to see reason. Give it time. It may take a little while for your parents to get used to the idea.
If they get upset while you are talking to them and tell you "no," they might change their minds later when they've cooled down a bit. Either way, you need to respect the fact that you still need to have a relationship with them, meaning you can't just write them off as evil because they told you no.
Method 3 of Wait until the time is right. This kind of discussion is a difficult one, especially if you aren't sure how your parents will react. Wait until you feel comfortable having the discussion.
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It can be hard if you're questioning your sexuality, as your parents may try to convince you're actually not gay. You can have feelings for another guy now, yet decide later that you prefer women. Sexuality can change over time. But even if that happens later on, it does not invalidate your current feelings or your current relationship. Do a practice run. While coming out to anybody is difficult, try coming out to someone who you know is sympathetic first.
For instance, if you have a gay friend or know someone who is a gay ally, talk to him or her about your sexuality before addressing it with your parents. It's very hard to say the first time, so trying it out on someone else first can make it slightly easier on you when you do go to your parents. Plus, the person may be able to give you some tips if he or she is gay.
Just be sure you completely trust the person first.
If your friends think this person is not good for you, then most likely your parents won't, either From a parents perspective: how to tell your parents you are dating someone older You are a mature 22 young woman dating a 50 year old man. Nov 06, First focus on the positive part. Tell your parents and any other folks about you think is compatible and everything you mentioned here. Then mention how old he is very calmly and tell them it is. Jun 03, Tell your parents about your boyfriend. Talk to them about his family and what you like about him. Highlight his good qualities so they get a sense of who he is. It's also helpful to have a photo for them to see. Your parents will probably have many, many questions%(84).
Present them with the facts. If you need to convince your parents, try presenting them with facts about homosexuality.
Give them time. Many parents need time to adjust to this announcement. Because most parents expect their kids to be straight, they have to change their own thinking about who you are.
Let them know it's okay to take time to adjust. A big worry for parents is that you will get so distracted by your love that it ' ll you take away from studying and your education. Make an effort to tell and show!
Okay, so your parents are less than stoked on the idea of your older boyfriend. Pause-don ' t whine, cry or beg. Be rational and logical and impress them with your emotional intelligence.
Tell them that you understand their perspective and then ask that they listen to yours. The more calm you can be, the more likely you will get your way. Got the green light for the older guy? HERE are questions everyone has in a relationship. Follow us. Yes I am 13 years old or older.