I've never seriously dated an Indian guy before. I don't willingly avoid them; it's just kind of happened that way. I'm Indian-American. I remember my very first high school crush, whom I'd met in the drama club. Bernard and I never got together, but he ended up setting a precedent for many of the guys I found myself attracted to as I got older. My one cousin just graduated from Columbia Law School. I have another who's doing a Ph.
By extension, the Indian women they are with must be promiscuous. Then there is patriarchy: Women who venture out of the nest to seek a mate must lack decency.
Mixed-race couples often have to deal with scepticism about their relationship masquerading as concern about cultural differences. When Aarya decided to tie the knot with Nicholas inshe often got lectured about the sanctity of marriage and how it should be preserved.
As I mentioned before, a stigma exists toward Asian women who date Western men, which also casts interracial dating in a poor light. They are condemned as being social climbers, materialistic, and. Don't let the girls tell you otherwise, or talk about particular cases. Here is an OkCupid (check out their blog, they are amazing at throwing these racial prejudices like this out in the open) graph detailing the reply back rates (a very good pro. Asian-American women are sick of sexual stereotypes. Left, a s-era ad from Shanghai depicting an exoticized Chinese woman. Right, an image from an Instagram account that puts white men with Asian fetishes on blast. Lillian, a something who lives in New York and Boston, is a single Asian American woman who actively dates.
And a mixed-race couple in which one person is black often brings out the worst kind of racism. I wondered whether she would have felt as much concern over my being so far away from my mother had I married an Indian. In a country where jingoism is at its peak and love is being politically exploited, such comments are no surprise.
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Skip to navigation Skip to content. She posts those, too. We have our own inner lives. We marvel and we create. We work through shit with our families.
Many Asians have dark skin. In the U. Traditional Chinese cultural and filial values played a part in this, but so did fear of racism.
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The only women who did make it across? Early Hollywood movies did the rest of the work.
Feb 28, I am not your kama sutra sexpot: The dating frustrations of an Indian woman It's hard to reclaim your sexuality when you've been fetishized your whole life. Feb 28, , pm*. Apr 02, An Indian woman who has got a white man must be enlightened, even by complete strangers. A lawyer whose services I was seeking for a few marriage-related formalities started by . Jun 17, I've never seriously dated an Indian guy before. I don't willingly avoid them; it's just kind of happened that way. I'm Indian-American. My parents came to America in their 20s and had me in Long Author: Sheena Sharma.
Asian men, meanwhile, were cast as scheming, effete villains in silk tunics, intent on bringing down the strong, capable white protagonists.
When the U. Jeng is happily partnered now, but in her single days, she and her friends developed a funny, fast-and-loose litmus test for Asian fetishes.
Operating from a scarcity mindsetthe harassers expect women of Asian descent to date exclusively within their race, and they attack those who marry outside and raise multiracial families. Sometimes these women fall in love with Asian men. Sometimes they fall in love with white guys, just as an Asian guy might fall for a white woman. I'm sure there are plenty of Asian and Asian-American men who do not adhere to patriarchal beliefs, but there's no denying the inherent values embedded within certain cultures that may shape a woman's preferences.
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There's another prospect to consider: Asian men in Western media have the unfortunate tendency to be depicted as being nerdy, feminine, comical, and shy. That, or kung-fu masters which I find hot, but perpetuates an annoying stereotype.
Older men are portrayed as being conservative and patriarchal. They are often desexualized and portrayed as not belonging in America.
Although it's changing, there simply aren't very many positive representations of Asian men in Western culture, and this negative image may very well affect the perceptions of Asian women living in the West. I've only ever dated one Asian man, and we were teenagers at the time - but it's certainly not because I find Asian men undesirable, or that I felt controlled by men. However, my trend of dating Western men had a lot more to do with the culture around my personal interests.
Growing up in Taiwan, most of my Asian peers were much more engrossed in their studies and into mainstream culture than going to punk concerts, watching experimental film, and dressing up like Marie Antoinette. Today, my interests are much more broad, but the long-term relationships I've held in the past decade of my life has precluded further investigation.
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What have your experiences of interracial dating been? As an Asian woman, have you ever felt a man was attracted to you for their Asian fantasy?
Or, have you ever suffered from the stigma of being an Asiaphile for dating an Asian man or woman? Please share your thoughts. This post originally appeared on Not Your China Girl.
Republished with permission.