Take it from someone who works all the time. I understand how frustrating it can be for you to want to spend quality time with your boyfriend. You just need some advice on how to date a busy man. Look at things for what they are and not more than that. The more meaning you give to something insignificant the more worry and stress you put yourself under.
If you want, you could even share them with the world so that other people could learn from you! Speaking of date ideas. While your significant other is busy, use this as the best opportunity to prepare surprise date ideas. If a birthday or an anniversary is on its way, use this time to plan ahead. Then start making calls, booking rooms, or buying tickets.
Who wants that? Learn to accept this and be patient in finding out what works for both of you. My boyfriend and I, for instance, are okay with set schedules so we have time for each other as well as our hobbies. But by the afternoon, we should be ready to spend time together on Skype. Every couple is unique: and the fun lies in discovery! There is no secret to lasting relationships.
Sometimes, plans change. People change. These are to be expected in relationships-especially long-term ones. Talk to them : what are their priorities now? Do they still intend to include you in their future? What are their plans? If they love you just as much, they would be willing to compromise with you so the relationship remains stable. Cristina Antonio: Chief Editor of Scoopfed. Aside from writing, Cris also enjoys painting, collecting toys, reading German novels, and lurking the Web.
MeetMindful is the first online dating site to serve the mindful lifestyle. Keep the romance flowing with understanding. Another common obstacle to picture-perfect moments such as these is time itself. Meet-up with friends. Go out and move. Get back into a hobby or develop one. Keep a journal or blog. Speaking of date ideas Plan exciting dates. I immediately felt better after our conversation, because we had the space to work out where these feelings were coming from without blaming each other.
I try my best to take owndership of my feelings. I think it's a very important t to any relationship.
Instead of "you make me feel", it should be "I feel". I have learned a lot through my life, but what I have learned through the time we have been together is how important the art of communication is. I thought long and hard about whether to post my email to him on here, and I have because, I hope that it might help someone else with similar issues. Love is complex, and tricky, and painful and rewarding, and inspiring, and so many things. But, it's worth all of the time and energy to be with someone you love and who allows you to express yourself and grow.
I have my own relationship issues sadly. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over two years and been friends for even longer. We are both For the past few months I have been so unhappy with him and myself. I have become too dependent on him for my own happiness and it just took a toll on me.
He started doing more of his own thing and seeing whoever he wanted because he knew I would always be around. He is more in love with his friends than me half of the time. I go can hang out with him and his friends if I want, but if I dont go he will still do whatever. I recently tried to break it off, but he won't let me. He claims he loves me and won't be happy with himself if he looses me, but when I ask for the simplest things such as calling in the morning rather than sending a text message he replies with, " I dont have to call right away when I wake up.
He cannont commit to plans with me. He says plans change and he never knows what he will be doing a week from now.
The problem is I thought we were supposed to be growing together in this relationship, but I feel more like I am growing up and maturing for a more serious relationship and he is stuck in his immature ways of staying up till 4am doing whatever it is. He can never plan a date either, I have put so much effort into this relationship that I am just emotionally drained. He says he wants to try and fix us and show me he cares so much, but why don't I believe him.
I can't seem to let go of how hurt I am by his lack of effort lately.
I am a pretty damn independent person too. I am a competetive swimmer and a full time student and I work two jobs, but I still have time to dedicate to someone who just thinks I am too attached. Any phone call just turns into an argument because I secretly know nothing will change. Can't change people. Am I right in thinking this is not going anywhere? I say that, because my situation is quite complex, in terms of dynamics rather than being with the right person.
Here goes:. I met my fiance' 3. It was not a relationship forum and neither of us were actively looking for a relationship at the time, but we formed a connection, which turned into a friendship and then romance. He IS my Mr. He is not some perfect being and I do see him flaws and all, but I love the person he chooses to be.
However, and this is where I may seem conflicted about saying I love the person he chooses to be, he is married to his job, plus he has other commitments that also take up a lot of his time. We are still living miles apart immigration process is in progress and I wonder if I struggle with him being so busy due to the distance or whether it is something I will struggle with when we are married and living together full-time? He does make an effort to make sure he stays connected with me when he is busy, by sending me tweets on Twitter in between his work commitments, and I know he is mindful of that, because of past relationships and his issues with work and, due to things I have mentioned in the past.
I try my best to be super supportive and do not put pressure on him when he is going miles an hour. I just wonder how this will feel when we are married -I am a little afraid. I am super motivated and I will have a busy schedule myself once I am living with him. Things have slowed down for me whilst we are in the immigration process, but this issue of him devoting so much of his time outside of our relationship keeps cropping up for me.
I think I would be stupid to give up on a relationship that feels right in so many ways just because of this issue.
Commit error. is it worth dating a busy guy think, that
I think we tend to priorities life differently in terms of work and commitments. I tend to put the people in my life who I love the most first, and sometimes he puts his commitments first and gets around to the people he loves when he has satisfied his commitments.
He does not do that all of the time, but there is a pattern. I know there are times in relationships when you have to take care of yourself without relying on your partner to be there all the time.
I just want to get the balance right. I don't want to be one of those long suffering wives who makes so many compromises for her man and regrets it 10 or 15 years down the road. Like I said, we broke up almost 4 weeks ago. Because for the past 2 months he took up a new job and has had maybe 3 days off in 2 months But world, please believe me when I say that everything else in this relationship was wonderful!
The love we shared, we both agreed we had never felt that way before. I thought we were really happy. Well that evening when he got to work. Now I know how stupid this might be of me,but believe me my heart says dont let him go But there is probably NO hope since he told me. Is there any hope at all? Do I just stop trying and calling? OR is it plain to see it will never happen again?
How To Date A Busy Guy - Ask Mark #20
But then came Aug 14th, and he called me after working that night and I told him "If you think Im going to keep doing this for more months youre crazy! I asked him last night and several times before, "Is there a chance we could ever try again? I wish he could just open his eyes and see what I see. I wish his heart will tell him to be with me and not let me go. After coming out of a six year long relationship, I thought an angel had come into my life when he first approached me and we got together.
He was affectionate, caring, loving- everything that lacked in my previous relationship. This lasted for about two months where I spent almost every night at his house and we were always together. He never sends sweet texts, if he ever even does text me, however when I do see him he is affectionate and caring and makes everything seem like it's okay.
The thing is, when I do see him it is not out of invite, but out of coicindence. For example, yesterday I texted him telling him I was stopping by his house to get all of my stuff for school. He was supposed to be up north as he was all week long huntingbut when I got to his house he was actually home. I know he had just gotten home, because the dog sitter was just on her way out. When I approached him, he said he was about to text me for getting together the following day. Before leaving, I tried to express how I was feeling, which I have never really been able to do because I never get a chance to see him and don't want to make matters worse.
His repsonse was, in his last relationship he lived with the girl for two years and was always around her. He doesnt want to get tired of the person he is with, and needs time to do his own thing.
He says he is just an indepentent guy. He called after I left apologizing and saying he will put forth his half as long as I put forth mine. However, he also said it is hard because he works when I'm in school and likes to have his time to do fun things on the weekends.
I am trying to see the positive parts to this relationship. After all, maybe this is a good thing. I am still only 20 years old and maybe I shouldn't be so attached. Maybe I am this way because I am used to always being around the person in my last relationship. Perhaps this is a good time for me to explore and find myself and to learn not to be so dependant on other people.
Maybe he is like this way because of his age Even before we started dating I knew he was a very busy person. Maybe I did take for granted that he at first took away all of his busy weekends to spend time with me.
When a busy guy consistently makes time for you, this shows you're a priority. You will see the signs of interest. The way he treats you when you're together is #1. If there's a follow-up call or text after a date, this is positive. Action shows interest. Words do not. In dating, it's all about understanding the other person's signals. Sep 10, Your heart will tell you if he is worth the long wait. 2. You are awesome and complete as a person Dating a super busy man like him, I learn to treasure every rare second we get to spend. Your partner's full schedule doesn't mean they don't love you. Keep the romance flowing with understanding. Here's the secret to dating a busy partner. People often have this notion that what makes relationships thrive is always spending time together. Every day we see lovestruck duos on social media who travel, eat, and go on exotic adventures hand in hand.
This is the only thing that gets to me He tells his friends about me, I've met his family, he makes it clear through his words that he does want this to be a lasting relationship. On this flip side, he doesn't put in any effort, is always busy, and no longer shows any affection unless I am physically there with him.
I even texted him last night about getting together on Thursday, but got no response. I am trying very hard not to be pushy, or look needy, but I am afraid if I continue to be okay with this he will never change his ways.
Maybe I am just thinking too much about all of this, all together! I am just looking for someone on the "outside" to analyze this and help me make a decision on the next best step forward. I care about him so much and hate the idea of letting go of anyone until I have given it my all.
Just a little over a year ago he got a job that he would be doing some traveling and some work locally. Since he has had this job he has been gone during the whole week and home on weekends or he is gone for 2 or 3 weeks at a time if he is traveling far away.
At first it was kind of hard, but now i feel like it's just not the same when we see each other on weekends or when he is home for a few days. We have called and e-mail each other less and less. When we do see each other we are not so much loving to each other. We never have been clingy to each other and i just feel like he is just as loving. I have confronted him about how i am feeling.
He wants to make it work, but I feel that after talking to him and almost two months later things haven't gotten better.
What should I do? Hi, I've been dating with my new colleague for 2 months, we've been going out and spending a lot of time together for the last month and suddenly due to his busy work schedule he's not spending any time with me after work. We only exchange text.
Yes is it worth dating a busy guy are
We had a chat few days ago and he says he love me but he's afraid that he can't commit to me because of work. I am also returning back to school to complete my degree program and will leave the company soon. Can you advice what I should do? I feel the solution is fairly simple. If you do not feel like you are being treated like you deserve to, what are you still doing in that relationship? If you want it to work, then make it work. If not, then find somebody who meets your communication and attention standards.
I been dating for 2 months but he to busy with his life I do the running as I do text him first then he text. I feel so low because If he was not seeing me it would be nice just send a text to me just saying hi or something. My bf 22 and I 21 are in a relationship for almost 2,5 yrs with the first 2 years being spent long-distance. We've had just the weekends for each other and it was almost exclusively me commuting to the city we both come from and he lives in and lived while I was studying 4 hrs by train away.
I've been through many different things with this my bf: I met him when he dropped out of economy uni and started his preps for medicine; I supported him through all his medical preparatory studying; I was there when he got accepted and started studying While I understand that studying medicine is terribly demanding he doesn't work btwI still believe in the proverbial "where's a will, there's a way".
I'm from an active family and I love to travel around, be outdoors, hike, suntan on the meadow, horseback ride, you name it In fact, all his possible time or so I see it is spent studying. We've had some serious talks already about our future and we've agreed on being together but not pushing it too much. I often feel neglected and it's driving me crazy He says he doesn't have money for all my trip ideas but he's from a rich family, I'm sure his parents would support him.
In Finland I plan to see one my online friend whom I've known for 10 years and have never met. In fact, he told me this:. I mean, really What am I to think about all this? I am just so confused, questioning my behavior, his behavior, my demands, my personality He said he wanted to be together so we started dating.
After i went back he called everyday and skyped everyday. He never seems to have the time to talk to me, unless i'm too busy to talk to him at the moment. Renee, clearly he is was not a commitment phobic. He was, however, unable and unwilling to commit to you. I think you saw the red flags and chose to ignore them. You also had a gut instinct and chose to ignore that.
It appears rather than address the issues of the relationship upfront with him,you chose to be manipulative by ending it and hoping he would miss you. So from what I can gather, you went along for 5 years in a relationship where you werent fully satisfied or your needs met.
Rather than being in denial and shifting the blame onto him by thinking he was a committmeny phobe, asl yourself why you stayed in a relationship where you were treated poorly. And would you really want to be marrying a guy that has cheated on you for years? Because that is what his new wife will be marrying. Sorry to sound harsh. I'm going through such heartache at the moment. I requested this break 2 months ago, in hopes that it would give him the space he needed in his man cave and some time to miss me; he agreed.
He had a habit of disappearing around the holidays and going long periods of time without contact. We are both in very lucrative careers and are very active in our communities which is great since we are in our 20's. He contacts me today to tell me he is engaged and this is Goodbye.
The man that couldn't commit to a "relationship" can commit to a marriage. I asked for the break because it had gotten odd at the end, as I felt it my heart that he may be seeing someone else. He would go through such extremes to get me back but would then sour out when I submitted to him. We grew up together and this is painful because we were best friends before we were dating.
I started dating a guy about a month and a half now. We became official after out third date because he just liked me so much and had to have me to himself. It felt sweet and romantic at first but now it feels like he was only wanted me to be his girlfriend so that only he would have me when he wanted and that he wasnt sharing with anyone else. When we first met I could get him to stop calling or texting me, now he makes excuses that he gets too busy at work he owns a small up and coming construction company I understand the demands of his career and he does have two children 10 and 6 He is 33 and I am 25, I am in school studying to be a nurse so I am busy also, but I just feel like I make more of an effort than he does.
Omg forget about calling him, I can never get him on the phone, when he does answer he tells me to call back in 10 mins and when I do he doesnt answer, it really gets me upset. I know people will say its early and I should walk away but then I feel like I am giving up. He has asked me to wait through the rough patch he is going through right now and I really would like to but I feel like I am robbing myself of potential happiness especially since he cant say how long this rough patch might last.
I dont know if at my age I can handle this. He also likes to talk about money alot which makes me uncomfortable, he feels if he buys me nice things or gives me money that it will smooth things over but I tell him repeatedly that I am insulted by it.
I will take human contact over money any day. He has no respect for my time, its as if he doesnt think I have important things to do also.
Should I just leave now since it's still early and wont hurt as much? I mean I feel like the abandoned housewife and its only the 2nd month of the relationship!
The truth of the matter is, If a guy wants to see you he will make the time and see you. And if he wants to call he will call. Why do we do this to ourselves? But there is a difference between being "busy" and being unavailable emotionally or physically.
I have been in the "Busy" relationship and I advise you girls strongly to NOT do any of the following. Please dont think you can change a man to make time for you if he doesnt do so voluntarily.
He will not certainly NOT change as long as you make things easy for him. As long as you enable him to treat you badly, he will do so. You are teaching him that inconsiderate behavior towards you is okay.
The longer this situation goes on, the more it will become normal to him that this is how things are and are supposed to be. He will be puzzled once you do stand up to him, and he ll see you as emotional and irrational.
Express your needs quickly, and if he cannot meet them no matter the reason: move on!
A man is not a fragile bird which you need to pamper and be patient with until it is ready to fly. You are not his mother, you don't need to raise your own man. By being too understanding, you will only let yourself be walked all over, rob him of his masculinity, and send him the message that you are needy and not worth more than the little crumbs of affection and attention that he is throwing at you now. So just don't put up with anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, underdesirable, etc.
You dont really have a realistic alternative. Yes, you can cling on to your dream of how this guy could be so wonderful 'if only The whole thing will eventually backfire in a very ugly way.
The longer you tell yourself lies, the worse you will feel once reality catches up with you. I know how easy it is to give such advice but how hard it is to accept it and act to it. I made that mistake with a guy myself very recently. I felt that I had to keep the peace, to be understanding, patient, to reach out to a guy more in order to compensate for his busy schedule, social shortcomings, cultural differences, etc.
I felt this was my only chance of getting closer to him or otherwise I would lose him due to what I perceived as unfortunate circumstances. I didnt want to be a victim of faith and decided to take matters into my hand and make things happen. I took all responsibility for carrying this affair all by myself. What I didnt realize was that it didnt stand a chance. It was not the circumstances that caused the troubles, it was him.
He is just not capable or willing to start something real with me, and I really mean minimum commitment. I just wanted to have fun and then see where this would go or not go. I dont want to marry or have his babies or whatever. This guy said he liked me, but never acted like it. I feel he is not ready for a relationship, or maybe just not with me. I just wish he had the guts to tell me this, but he kind of kept me on hold instead for several months and tried to do so for another four months until he would come visit me, as we live in different countries in Europe.
I feel it was not necessarily bad intent from him that he cant make things happen. I think he doesnt know himself what he wants. Although he is funny and entertaining, he is also inconsiderate and immature and doesnt give things much thought.
He kind of lives in the moment. And despite his positive qualities and yummie good looks that s eventually not what I m looking for. I m sure he thought he wanted to spend time with me theoretically, but he never made much effort. He was always busy, there was always something else to do.
He was very unrealistic about his time planning, and I think that sometimes people lie to themselves too. Maybe he wanted to see that someone special in me, but he was never sure in the end so he never made it real.
If you are worried so much that you just read all these posts on all these websides, think about it. Something must be wrong, or you are crazy to spend your time like that. I dont think you are crazy, ladies. Just very nice and willing to work on things that are not to be rescued. You better trust your own gut feeling of the situation, as most guys are used to just doing things.
They are emotionally less in touch with themselves and dont think about stuff as much as women do. Set your own standard and do not settle for anything less. You are worth a balanced relationship and a guy who will treat you just as well as you treat him. If you are curious what happened with me and that guy: after the gazillionth excuse, I told him how disappointed I was in him.
Then he got mad at me for not believing him dat he was going to do things in time, and he backed out completely. I cant be bothered anymore. It was a tough lesson for me because I really liked this guy.
But regardless of cultures, social skills, etc, the truth is some things will not work out, no matter how hard one person tries. It takes two to tango. Hi, im having the same problem. Hi I would like some advice please. I always over-analyse absolutely everything, but just can't seem to help it!
Is it worth dating a busy guy
Basically, I've been dating this guy who's in the Royal Marines for about a month 7 dates in total where he has always insisted on paying- although I do offer to do so btw! Well we met on a site- although I didn't get into it to meet anyone as such and just wanted friendship. So we really began messaging about 8 weeks ago. Then he asked if we could meet, as he lives only about an hour away from me.
I found out that he'd broken his leg he arrived at our date on crutches and that's why he was staying at home with his family although he is usually based about 2 hours away. Well the date was great- he gave me compliments, we spent about 9 hours together etc!! Well he texted me the following day to ask if I wanted to go to the cinema in the evening, which we did and again it was great. Then a few days later I met him in his village to go to the cinema and I met his parents and his nan- no awkwardness whatsoever!
Then there was about 3 weeks between then and our next date, as he has a really busy schedule- just bout an old car so has been getting it done before going back to work, he's training for another job can't really say what it isseeing his friends etc and on occasion he's asked me to do something and I've already made plans.
Well we ended up going out and spending the whole day together, went out for food and he came back to my house and met my parents- again there was no awkwardness whatsoever.
He was really relaxed. I should point out that by this stage he had yet to make a move and we hadn't kissed or anything. But he would flirt and kinda linger as though he wanted to kiss me then. Well the week after that we again went out for food and watched a dvd at his parents house and I ended up staying over! Then saw his family again in the morning and everything was fine- kiss goodbye etc. However he had told me the night before that he was moving back to base and going back to work the week after today in fact.
So I was a bit gutted. Well he texted on the thursday and friday- he initiated. Then he didn't reply to my text on saturday until monday morning, when he asked if he could pop in to see me. At first I thought I would give him a taste of his own medicine and not replyat least not straight away.
Well 15 mins later he calls me, so I said that of course he could pop in. Which I thought was nice? Clearly showing that he wanted to see me. He didn't even have to tell me that he was in the area.
Then I texted him to say was nice to see him and for him to have a good day. He replied that yeah it was nice. Well, I texted him the next day this tuesday and he still has yet to get in touch. He's moving back to base also today! He even texted me on two occasions when he was out with friends. But even when we just messaging online, he would only message once every morning when free! He's even apologised about the fact that his training takes up a lot of his free time but that it comes with his job.
I am really resisting the urge to text him or call him, but don't want to seem clingy. Plus the text I sent him was a statement and not a question. Not sure if he's testing me, giving me the brush off or if he's genuinely just busy! Help please!! My boyfriend works a lot. So for the last 3 months I been talking to a guy that is active in the military.
At first I ignore him because I was married. But 3 months ago my husband and me are getting divorce, so we started to talk. We click right away it was nice bc we went to middle school together. Whne he had to go back to his home station we decided we are going to get to know each other. The first month was amaxin texting everyday adn we would skype. Than he had work stuff come up which I knew were importan, but there came a time that it seem like I was putting to much effort into things and he wasent.
So I backed off a little. Now he is calling a bit more and we talk, but he tells me how much he is goign through rough times. Well I kinda understand because he just got back from overseas not even 5 months ago.
I am going to see him in like 2 weeks, but is a little akward bc we had not been talking that much. He tells me how excite he is to see me, and he is so thankful of me been understanding and been there. I dont know if to think he wants a serious relationship or am I just to pass time. I have met his family already and I do have teo kids we he is very good too.
Criticism advise is it worth dating a busy guy join. happens. Let's
What do you think? Awesome and in-depth article on this issue which I have ever read! Thank you to the super amazing author, two thumbs up. It seems like there's parts of my story in each of these. You are so right to say that dating should be fun. And right now, it really isn't. I am dating someone who is super busy.
He has a full-time job, is a full-time student, gets his kids he's a great da and is a ref for football. Busy isn't even the word. We see each other once a week, which is fine.
We even talk pretty often. My problem is the fact that sometimes I'll call or send a text, and he won't answer until the next day, if at all. It's just weird. Some days he'll call 3 or 4 times, others, not at all. He has a dangerous job, and almost always remembers to send me a text letting me know he is OK at the end of his shift.
I probably know the answer to this, I just need to hear it to jog it loose. I have an amazing life, and I am so blessed to be doing what I am. I just want to stop feeling slightly nuts about all of this. Sometimes I think I'm just so used to the "clingy" type of guy that this is new to me, and I don't know what to do with it, or how to act. Any way you can help me make sense of this? Great advice! I am having some trouble with my relationship. I have been in long term relationships since I was 16 years old and I am just turning 23 now.
I have been dating this guy for 3. He was raised by a single mother and has to work very hard for everything. I pick small fights with him all the time because it annoys me that I do the majority of the work and he doesn't take initiative.
Another issue I have with our relationship is that, since we live together and are poor college students, we don't go out and spend much quality time together.
Quite tempting is it worth dating a busy guy something is
We just merely live together like room mates and it is getting to me. I have tried in the past to get a day where we would have a day together, but his work schedule fluctuated and it just never happened.
He has hobbies that take up a lot of time too. I always feel like I have to be the one to suggest we should do something together like a watch a movie. I am thinking that this might be partly my fault, since he doesn't talk to me that often about things that bother him about me. He tells me I should get more hobbies to fill my time and I have, but they don't take as much time as his hobbies.
Here is my idea: I move back home with my parents and give myself some distance to find myself. I would like to continue to date him. I think the problem here is that I have become so angry and annoyed at him that if I left him completely I could probably get over it. However, I think if I had this mentality with all men, I would be single for life.
I was thinking the distance would give me time to mend, find myself and calm down. He says that he cares about me and just quit his part-time job so he will have Friday just for me; i feel like it's a trap, lol. Do you think I should just break off the relationship or devote one day a week to spend time with him? Do you think that would just hurt me in the process of trying to define myself?
There are actually a lot of tells in your words, a lot of under-currents. I think you know, as you stated, you aren't designed for a long distance relationship. I think you know he's not putting in the effort. Plus he isn't what your heart truly wants, he's only what your heart "thinks" it wants. You realize he is confirming this, giving you every indication that he's not worth this upset, even if he does say obsessive things. I think you have some other issues going on right now.
I think you're very smart, and you're so smart in fact that you're psyching yourself into this relationship as well as trying to find a reason to hang it on him and end it. It's like you're having both sides of the Debate Team Playoffs going on in your head and you're orchestrating both sides. And I admit, I'm more than a little impressed. It's hard when all this is going on to see the bottom line, because all the arguments for and against are good, and incomplete.
It really doesn't have too much to do with him no matter what he says or does: this is all you, and it will play out like a chess game in your head until you get to your bottom line, which in the end really is the only one that matters.
My feeling is, this isn't the right relationship, and you should - and eventually will - trust your instinct to withdraw and break it off suddenly. It feels like that ending is not well planned, but it is. Your thought processes are a little hard to follow, but they are all there, and they are all working.
A dating relationship is supposed to be fun. And this is the constant in the relationship. You should not want that. It isn't healthy. It's destructive.
You should not be in any relationship that makes you feel the way this one does. You should not have any doubts. Move on. Short and simple. I have been seeing a guy on and off for three years.
The off periods have been moments where I have come to the realization that he was just to busy for me. He lives two towns over from me and he rarely calls, we barely go out on dates, all it appears as if he's looking for is a physical thing. He claims it isn't and that he does care for me and that I am the only one for him. The problem is I don't feel that way. The consistency level he has is just so inconsistent and I'm just emotionally drained from trying to make things work.
I'm thinking of leaving permanently I have a lot of doubts though because I do care for him I chanced upon this page while trying to figure out what to do about this particular guy who recently came into my life.
For the first time in my life I think I'm truly in love. However, I'm more financially stable than he is though I don't really have a lot of money and apparently more impatient.
We have been talking since I got back home and I have been the one making most of the calls because of our financial situations. After seeing my phone bill for the first two weeks after my return, I suggested we cut down our talks to just once a week. He seemed okay with it because he didn't want me to spend too much money. I am not sure I'm built for long distance relationships and after a month, I talked to him about how hard it is for me to not be able to see him and I wasn't sure how long I will last.
He was very afraid of losing me but said if that's what I want to do that's fine since there's not much he could do about it from South Africa but he doesn't think he can be able to let me go even if I let him go. I explained to him that my main issue was the lack of a plan to meet up someday.
So, about 3 weeks ago I told him I would like to see him and wanted to know if it will be fine to see him in November. He facebooked me back and said he will have to get back to me. He did. November was not good, December will work.
Three of my cousins are getting married during the latter half of December so I would be traveling from one wedding to the next during that time. So, I asked him if I can come during the first week of December, he said no that second week will be better.
I asked him why, he said and I quote: "I'm working two jobs now and I plan on taking a class, and if you come [before the 2nd week], it will mean me sacrificing one of those things and I don't want to do that. I explained to him about the weddings and he said maybe it will be better to push back to visit altogether so we don't rush things.
I was stunned. Here I was ready to spend my money, take time off work and come to see him because I really wanted to and he basically tells me he is too busy for me to visit him even though it will be the only time we see in 6 months and might be the only time in a year.
I mean, what am I supposed to do with that? I am not sure if he no longer likes me but I'm confused because he tells me everyday out of the blue that he really cares about me.
The funny thing is that I am not really an emotional person and so I tell him I care about him usually after he tells me, but not always, so he feels I don't really tell him enough. I really believe he cares about me but I don't know why he would tell me not to visit because he doesn't want to sacrifice these things for me I mean, couldn't he have said it nicer?
What does him saying it mean? He doesn't value me as much? I would never tell him that unless I didn't really want to see him Maybe I'm over thinking it? But he has been the one discussing a future with me, I have always been the hesitant one. But as soon as I actually tried to take a step further he shuts that route down. I am withdrawing and I know I will completely withdraw soon or break it off abruptly, but before I do this I want to get another perspective on this issue.
I'm in a similar situation as many here. I'm 28, have my own apartment, full time job, part time school. He has full time job that is very busy in the summer months. He's been talking about going back to school for masters deg. But recently he texted saying something about studying for law school! We've been dating since mid Feb In May he told me " youre awesome but I'm not ready for a serious relationship. I'm not sure where my job will take me. But I went along with the relationship anyway.
We live about 2hrs apart. It was pretty even as far as who initiated. And believe it he would actually call me a few times a week more than I called him!
But I have to say after the first few months, I guess we got into a comfort zone, I wasn't always sure when I'd see him next. I had to ask, are you coming? Ever since then things haven't been quite the same. I backed off a bit. Sadly our primary means of communication is texting. That dropped significantly even after I told him I was not mad at him. I tried to explain how I felt. How could I slip through the cracks? Anyway, now he will text me in the morning but I get no response at night anymore.
A few days ago he texted me in the morning, Goodmorning baby. I asked why call me baby? He said he still wants me to be his baby. I said youre not acting it. I told him I am sorry for the drama. But his actions are not showing me that he wants to be with me. I feel almost completely cut out of his life, I don't feel like I have a boyfriend anymore. Veronica, the last weeks I have tried to give him space. He will reach out to me eventually but I am not feeling fulfilled at all. I don't know when I will see him again.
He is so emotionally unavailable now. I told him I want to support him through this, i want to get past this.
But I need better communication. Find some way to show me you care. I don't know if I should try to stick it out or tell him its time to date others. He's a good guy but I can't help but think if this was the right time he'd be more into me or if i was the right girl?
I just got your comment. I'm not posting it, I'm moving it to it's own hub, which I am writing for you right now. I will post the link here as soon as it's done. Check back in a few. Thanks Sue. Yes, it's a big stumbling point for many people; Seeing what's really there, and handling it for what it is.
Once again, one line that says it all We've all been there, Joey. It does suck. Start processing what's happening instead of what you hope it is, and you'll be better.
If someone wants the relationship to work, the "too busy" excuse will be non-existent. Otherwise, it's clear that this is not the right time for this person to get into a relationship. Maybe your inability to deal with their busy schedule was a factor. This leads us to the other type of person in the dating world. Et mon Is It Worth Dating A Busy Guy retour definitif en France. L'age de la retraite est la, et je crois qu'a deux, elle sera plus douce, je cherche celle, qui voudra bien, que je lui tienne la main, pour continuer ensemble le chemin de la vie/
It will get better. Good luck. She broke up with you. There isn't too much you can do. It isn't that she's saying she's too busy, it's not about whether or not you should believe her and be patient or get the hint and move on. It's not just a hint. Whatever excuse she gave you, whether it be that she's too busy or stressed, or something else, doesn't change the fact that she broke up with you. The previously excellent relationship you reference is gone. It doesn't matter that she said she wanted that in the past.
Right now in the present, she doesn't. She said she "doesn't want a relationship. She wouldn't be too stressed or too busy to see you or be with you if she wanted to be with you. She does not want to be with you. To flip this on its head: what do you do if you're a guy and your girlfriend says she's too busy? I do want to keep the previously excellent relationship going and she said before she went that she did too - help?
You should definitely stop. If you are doing all the contacting, and he's saying things like you're adding to his stress, he's being pretty clear.
Not wanting you around his friends, not initiating talk, seemingly pained to say I love you back if you say it I'm not sure why you're saying you don't know what to do.
I think you do, you just don't want to. You're not endearing yourself to him in anyway being so over-available especially when he's pushing you away. Let it go. I've been dating this guy for 3 years. He is really great and I love him very much.
But he has recently moved to the city 2 hours away and has been very busy. It's only been 4 days since he's moved, but he has yet to ask me about how my day has been or initiate any conversation with me. I have to text him or ask him to call me. He told me i'm adding to his stress, but i'm unsure how. I just tell him I understand and I hope things get less stressful for him soon.
He had to move quickly because he got offered a great job, so he still has to find an apartment. So he truly is very busy. He told me he hasn't even had time to think about us. Here is some backstory for you. We've been on and off for 3 years. But this time getting back together he told me he could see us getting married and that he was crazy in love with me and we should move in together. He has been very committed to me and i've felt so loved, but it has been dwindling.
Since he moved home for the summer from university, we have been spending everyday together. We have gotten into a lot more fights because he says I don't care about him enough.
Which is not true. We fight and then things get better and then I forget about what we fought about and make the same mistake over. So he gets annoyed. And he wants me to act better around his friends. I am quite shy and the friend I have most trouble with is a girl he had chemistry with while we were not together. So i can be awkward around his friends and he has given me chances to be around them and it hasn't gone so well. But i really do want to make this work and have thought long and hard about why I don't get a long with them and would love more opportunities to hangout with his friends.
He just won't give them to me anymore. He has gone out many times this summer and left me at home because he doesn't want me to interact with his friends in fear it will turn out poorly. So he makes seperate time for us when he can.
So before he left he said he wanted me to prove him wrong, that he does want to be with me, but that right now he feels like moving is a vacation. I want to hear from him so badly. I miss him all ready. But he is acting the same way he did when he would leave for university. So distant. And then we end up breaking up. I don't want that and i'm not sure what to do to fix it. I don't know if i should not text or call him and wait for him to get a hold of me? Or if I should just keep trying to be nice and sweet.
I've tried to work something out, like coming down there for one night to see him. But he says I can't until he finds a place because he's staying at his friend's dad's extra apartment, so it's not his place to invite people there. Which I understand. But at least i'm trying to make time. Maybe I'm being to clingy? All I want is for him to send a small text saying "i love you" or call quickly to tell me about his day.
I really don't ask for much. It's only been 4 days so I should definitely wait it out. But i'm getting so paranoid thinking we're going to break up. He says right now he doesn't feel cute or loving at all because he's so stressed.
He doesn't even text "i love you" back after I say it. He said it once on the phone after I said it, but it sounded forced. I'm unsure what to do or how to act.
I don't want to be a crazy woman and text him all the time, but i love hearing from him. Actions speak louder than words. He can do all the "begging" he wants to.
If he wanted to call, he would. I don't care how busy he claims to be.