Share your favorite social skills tips, ask for advice, or offer encouragement to others on their social skills journey. Don't forget to subscribe! CasualConversation on IRC. Why is dating so hard for guys? I have the worst luck when it comes to dating.
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Be nice. Again, Islam is a religion of peace and tolerance, so don't freak out if someone likes a different color sukhrit than you or something. Why is dating so hard? Even outside of the community as well. I completely feel you on this haha. It's rough for people who aren't already part of one of the social groups. Ive heard some people try this website called Cake Meets Sherbet but I only got one match and it was someone I already knew lol.
It definitely feels like there's a barrier to dating in the community sometimes. I assume it works globally, but it depends on if there are others in your area also using it. Check out cake meets sherbet! It is definitely rough but that website helped me realize that I am not alone in my struggle and that there are guys out there looking too. Guy here, this problem exists on both sides. Very hard if you aren't in to the bars and clubs scene.
There needs to be a better way for people who are liberal but think their faith is important. I do go clubbing and to bars haha- but like, the people I do meet they just seem to want to hook up lolol.
Nothing wrong with clubbing, but it's very hard to find a sustainable relationship in that kind of a setting.
Necessary why is dating so hard reddit speaking, would ask
I was in a relationship with an Ismaili guy, who I thought had all the right values and ethics but he turned out to be very abusive. I previously dated two other Ismaili guys and their ethics and values were all wrong.
One was homophobic, the other was only interested in his needs, didn't even want to get to know me. Sooner or later everyone gets it. I have seen people with a lot of medical issues also getting one. The important thing is how can this be made easy. As a guy I am in the same boat. Not going to hide, I am an ExIsmaili and believe me or not I am trying to help you out.
Maybe some of the stale conversations and "guys who got away" are finding women who don't take as long to feel comfortable over text message.
Maybe you're waiting to long to go on a date? You could try dropping hints or asking the guy out on a date first, to see if that changes your luck for the better.
You could add "no ONS" to your profile, but you will still have to filter out guys who are like this. Have you considered having a female friend look at the profiles with you? Just to get her view of the guys, and see if maybe you're missing some clues that the guys only want sex? Ultimately it's a fact of life - dating apps have some guys who are really desperate and see their chances slipping away, so they ask directly about having sex.
But the more of them you can filter out quickly, the easier it will be to stick with dating apps. It might take some time. Welcome to how a guy feels or gets treated most of the time when trying to find a girl to date. Being ghosted and passed up sucks doesn't it? I feel for you and been where you are at and I am still there in a way just got back into the dating gamenot really a dating expert but we just have to keep trying and plugging away and maybe someday the light will be at the end of the tunnel.
On the other hand not anything to do with this post but I really do not know what the hell is going on in American Dating Culture, it seems these days people are selfish, materalistic, uncaring and all about themselves then the person they are seeing. I just dated in Germany recently and it feel way different than dating in the U. Online dating is much harder then normal dating in my opinion.
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Please send your contact information via a PM only. No soapboxing or promoting an agenda. This includes trolling and being inflammatory with broad brush generalizations. Edit 2: wow the amount of both downvotes and upvotes for this. It's been back and forth like crazy. I think of catcalling as an example where a small number of men create a disproportionate amount of negative interactions between men and women and so women make it an issue understandably and men may respond emotionally feeling target or generalized.
I think this is a situation where guys project and think its a good move cause they are wanna see nudes. If I had a nickel for every whining MGTOW post complaining about how women these days are getting too much attention and won't date at their level I'd be a damn millionaire by now.
It always boils down to the same thing. You are absolutely right about that. Perpetually single men need to start realizing that they have a choice to tolerate or reject shitty behavior from women or men. You cannot control how others act I developed and enforced standards beyond looks. I learned to say no.
When I started enforced some goddamn standards, dating stopped being a chore, started being kinda fun, and culminated in meeting my current SO of 2 years. Fucking seriously. All these neckbeards who haven't been laid in years if ever talking about women in their 30s like they're expired milk, or how the women who meet their ridiculous standards don't want them. Gee, I can't imagine why some 23 year old supermodel wouldn't want an overweight misogynist who lives with his parents.
A lot of these guys will spend their entire lives bitter and angry and I have no sympathy. I'm 34 and the girls my age are "mehh" So just easier to stash my cash and enjoy life, travel, hobbies, etc.
Hmm, I kinda excluded myself from dating ease. So like for me I have a few good circles of friends, but I've just never had any intimate relationships from them.
They all have a lot of couples included though. I'm also pretty weird from an outsider point of view. I listen to weird ass music, wear band shirts sometimes, practice harsh singing, write stories, and just stuff that would be off putting to the more grounded person.
I'm not particularly picky, but rather admitting I don't create many opportunities for myself to meet similar women. You get me?
ARE MY STANDARDS TOO HIGH? - r/GayBros Gay Dating Advice \u0026 Tips - Why Is Dating So Hard Today?
I'm pushing Now that I'm old, the only choices available are going to be a single moms who want me to clean up their mess and b women who've given it up with little to no effort to guys who'll make me work for it. I've also noticed that as time marches on, it seems womens' expectations have become more and more absurd.
Thanks, but no thanks. Overall, "dating" or trying to date has felt like the exact same type of torture as trying to find a job. It's all of the exact same types of bullshit.
I'm done. Mid 30s here. Not sure how to put this delicately, but you are quite right that as time goes on the dating pool simultaneously has more baggage AND has higher expectations.
I'm fortunate enough to have a low-maintenance woman with minimal baggage. Hopefully I will never have to go back into the shark tank that is the dating pool, but I'd definitely be looking at younger women because of my observations in the first paragraph. Pretty much. At least dating is optional as compared to working. Being single might not be much fun, but being unemployed is a big fucking problem. That is an observation I had recently which I still don't understand.
Commit error. why is dating so hard reddit share
You are over 30 and your expectations are even higher than in your 20s when you couldn't find someone then what makes you think you will now? If a business can't sell something for years they don't suddenly jack up the price they lower it but it seems like the opposite happens in dating which is especially puzzling given how their own value tends to drop past 30 or they had a few kids already.
Most women don't see them having kids a actually a negative for them to readjust thier standards imo. I think its more of a take it or leave it thing. She will find some guy eventually in thier reasoning i believe. Of course it will be hard. I've pretty much given up based on probability. It's already nearly impossible to find someone sexually compatible with me ignoring all other things. But then on top of that it's damn near impossible to find someone who I like and also who likes me.
Most people I meet I can get along with, but I'm not looking to "get along" with someone, I'm looking for someome that I appreciate the kind of person who when I think about them makes me smile because they don't just get me but also have chemistry with me.
And I've never actually met another person who had more than minor chemistry with me, nevermind dating someone like that. Even on dating sites people who "match" only tend to do so superficially rather than having compatible personalities. The only real attraction of a relationship for me is maybe some sex and maybe even a single person on this planet giving the slightest shit about me. I honestly don't find many Millennial women my age mid-thirties to be particularly interesting or enjoyable people to form relationships with.
Incredibly narcissistic, backbiting, and nasty. The resentment and bitterness you run into in the upper 20's lower 30's crowd is quite fascinating. Well What I can say is that most guys I know are not really getting anywhere with girls.
Welcome to r/dating_advice!. Please keep the rules of r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a message. We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Why is dating so hard? I have read your interactions on and you have been called out many many times for dishonesty and blatant lies. I am no professional to diagnose but I can see signs of compulsive lying disorder. I understand and mostly agree with OP. But in your case you need to work on yourself first before saying shit like. I (28F) haven't been very successful with dating recently and apart from being frustrated about not being in a relationship, the lack of sex is driving me nuts. I have a high sex drive, and while I haven't been in a proper relationship for 5 years I somehow managed to have longer dating phases or FWBs, so at least I got some quite regularly.
Most girls have their pick of a guy, irl or online. Most guys I know either have to focus on school or give up.
Women rarely date down so any guy not in college and making decent money is out of sight. Most women are in college so most men are not in view as potential partners. Not to mention the other requirements like being tall and looking a certain way.
Most men are not being picked. Men not picked have to cope somehow. I cope with studying all day and playing games on the weekend. This thread really blew up. I see a lot of angry young men quoting the OKCupid statistics that are now basically common knowledge amongst users. I'm well aware of those statistics. I think that plays a part of it. I think that's a small part of it though.
I really do. I'm especially dubious because those statistics rely on pure ratings of attractiveness, and for men, we're not as beautiful as women. There are more things women consider in their evaluation of a partner. Men are much more inclined to base their evaluations exclusively on physical attractiveness. That's just one possibly counter point off the top of my head. I think the issue is more the types of people like myself who have basically given up due to the shithole economy.
Technology has made dating less fun, on top of contributing to even more wealth polarization and perhaps polarization in dating options as well.
The world is overpopulated and I blame that first and foremost, which leads to the shitty economy. Online stuff is secondary IMO although certainly eliminates fun and is so not a substitute for real life.
A lot of guys who whine about not being able to get dates always crack me up a little bit.
Certain parts of the manosphere you hear men mansplaining to women about the types of guys they should be attracted to. This is preposterous. You're asking women to do something that doesn't come naturally to them; to be attracted to someone they aren't attracted to. Women, just like men, are either attracted to someone, or they aren't.
Some bullshit internet lectures aren't going to change anything. I saw another good post here about the collapse of communities. Dating apps suck. I wish I lived in a vibrant community.
Why is dating so hard reddit
As a shittily employed atheist living alone, I hardly participate in anything. I'm basically a god damn ghost.
If I killed myself, nobody would notice for a week or more I estimate. I talk to my family about once or twice a week.
They don't call. They don't care. I'm alone, man. A one man band and that's really what I'm comfortable with now. It's all BS. And I think there's a kind of beautiful irony in dating collapsing as the population continues to soar.
I see it as the species naturally correcting for overpopulation. If everyone here was pumping out babies, we'd all be worse off.
But yea, women are bad because of their biology! That's the real problem! It's not an overpopulated hellpit of this planet we call earth, the 20th century concept of endless growth which is gradually slowing down, global warming, organized religion, the collapse of communities, collapse of people's ability to earn a living, collapse of marriage, no.
None of that. Well what's your take on it? I largely agree with above poster, pretty interested in all the responses in this thread. Well I have had a lot of life experience, plus time to think as I have spent extensive amounts of time unemployed. I am a bitter old soul, but these whiny men piss me off.
Like most problems today. Dating takes money? Going out takes money? I am married and have been nearly 20 years but I feel for all you folks. If someone doesn't have life go by the "life script" hell you can't even find a friend nonetheless a partner. I wrote an ad, and ended up with a husband but that was in the days of newspaper dating and the internet had just begun.
Being married and having a family takes money, we never had children in our case. Nobody wants to date old people. That means dating literally gets a little harder every single day. As a millennial guy, dating was never hard for me, even when I was chubby. I guess some girls liked me when I was chubby, as a few told me, because they had chubby dads, brothers, so, they felt comfortable around me.
I think it just takes up a lot of time. Time that some of us would rather dedicate to other things, like working, working out to stay fit, doing other things that might make us some more money. Also as you get older it gets harder finding single people, by mid to late twenties most women are taken or had children.
Apologise, but, why is dating so hard reddit phrase simply matchless
The last few years I only spoke seriously to two women. One was amazing but unfortunately I had drama with my family, I got depressed, and it didn't end up working out. And even if it did it would of been fucked up because of the drama with my fam. The other one was some girl I went to high school with, it would of worked out if it wasn't for her verbal abuse.
I haven't met anyone new after that, not because I'm not trying, I am. I mostly try to get at random girls on facebook but it seems dead. Thanks for asking this question, it's something that I've recently been thinking about a lot. I was born in Asia but moved to the UK with my parents when I was a young child.
Almost all my friends are white and British as I've never really lived in very multicultural places and I've never been made to feel inferior by them. We had common interests and enjoyed each other's company and that was that, race just didn't play a part. Dating and romantic relationships have been a different story on the other hand but not a complete disaster I must add.
I still remember my first rejection, by a friend that I had known. We were at the school bus stop area and I asked her if I could take her out to dinner that weekend. Her reaction is forever scarred in my mind; absolute sheer disgust towards me and she held that face for a good few seconds which felt like a lifetime! It was as if I had told her that I killed her dog! After the delay, she simply said "uhh no sorry" and by then both our buses arrived so we parted. Now I'll admit that I'm no Adonis and was prepared for a simple rejection but to have a friend go from smiling and laughing to sheer disgust and vitriol in a split second really hit hard.
Fortunately, I've never experienced as bad a rejection again but I do feel as though that is because of my cautiousness and wariness since then.
As a result, I gradually stopped going to clubs altogether. I have however, had success when leveraging my hobbies. My only real relationship came in this way, completely unexpected and somehow this gorgeous Dutch woman was actually attracted to me.
So now here I am, 24 - well paid job, in decent shape, confident if I want to be and can initiate and hold good conversations. The problems? I'm dark-skinned and relatively short. I say relatively because ethnically I'm average, just so happens that my parents brought me to a land of giants! Recently I've been trying online dating to try and find someone and fix the bouts of loneliness.
Why is dating so hard? it's pretty confusing. i made a profile on tinder, 3 good pics of me, list of interests and hobbies about me and started swiping 7 days ago, only getting like matches in a week's time. why is this so hard? one would think it should be easy to keep swiping and find a girl who is down to do fun and cool shit together. So it's hard to talk to women after I've found the perfect opportunity to actually meet them. Then it comes to dating. If by some miracle I get this far, women are so hard to judge. I just got my ass broken up with by a girl who said I was taking things too far. Anyway, just thought it might be relevant to the dating conversation as a whole. If I was single again, I wouldn't even bother looking for someone. A lot of people are miserable being single, but I can say that being in a relationship is no amazing picnic either, life is just as dreary, and if you're thinking "yeah, but at least there's sex.
I've taken good photos and made my profiles as attractive as possible without misrepresenting myself. Unfortunately, after a hell of a lot of effort and time spent messaging personalised starters or swiping, my inbox is almost completely barren. It turns out that just like approaching in clubs, OLD is entirely based on first impressions and I simply cannot compete.
Swallowing this dose of reality has been tough. It's made me question whether I really belong in this country despite thinking of it as my home for 20 years.
When it comes down to it, even for someone who has integrated as well as I have, embracing the culture, people and food, the vast majority of women view me by my race and nothing more. The sad thing is, I don't even belong back in my country of origin anymore as they view me as whitewashed. Really, I think that my only hope of finding a woman to organically love and marry is to find another ethnic "nomad" but I've never even met one before.
Due to age dynamics i. A year old man is going to have a narrow range. Am female. Not making any claims about who has it worse, but not everything is great for us either. A simple Google search will show you that most grievances about dating in the modern world were voiced by men.
And it's not just about the amount of grievances.
Criticism write why is dating so hard reddit me
It's also about the nature of such grievances. Men's grievances are usually about the lack of dating prospects. For many men, the lack of dating prospects can be a resounding zero, meaning a solitude life for a very extended period of time. Women's grievances are more like first world problem. Example: I only had 50 guys checking me out this month, but it used to be ! No doubt some women also had it tough, but let's be objective, they are a very small minority.
If dating hasn't been great for you, and I assume you still get expressions of interest from guys in real life and online, then maybe your problem is something else. Expression of interest is a double-edged sword. I spent a few months online dating and it fucking sucked. And no, I didn't get a shitload of messages just because I'm a woman, and the vast majority of messages I did get were from men who completely ignored my profile basically looking at me as a baby-making machine when I explicity stated, in bold fucking capital letters that I have no interest in kids, ever.
So what, I'm supposed to be grateful for the attention? Even though none of them cared about me as a human being or gave a fuck about my interest at all. They just want to live some goddamn 's suburban fantasy where I'm barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, and they get to make all the decisions because they have a dick. No thanks. Is there any advice you could give to a man who is looking at the contents of profiles to make it more obvious?
It drives me nuts being ignored regularly, not because it didn't "work out" when I message someone, but because I can't shake the feeling I'm just being passed over because a quick glance at my profile or message might not give strong enough indications I'm not looking to just fuck.
I just wish I knew if I was being passed over for who I am, which is fine, or because of lack of trust of men. No one has the courtesy to tell people understandably, though.